“AITA for telling my pregnant wife I want a divorce?”
My 26M wife 25F is five months pregnant and recently admitted to something that I don’t think I can forgive.She dropped out of high school due to family issues and started working low-wage jobs. When we met I was already more established in my career as an accountant.
We dated and talked for hours on end on how we wanted our lives to be. I wanted to grow in my career and she said she wanted to go back for her GED and get bachelors degree to become a teacher. We both wanted to do these things before we had any kids.
After we married she quit her job and she said she didn’t want to get another job because she wanted to focus on getting her GED and getting a college degree. I said fine, I’d put in more hours to support us both and I did.
She finally got her GED after a year of trying and failing the tests. I was so proud of her and told her I was. Well, she started bringing up “what if we have a baby already?” I said no, that we had agreed until after we had reached our goals, and it stayed at that.
When she got pregnant I was excited, but also somewhat confused as she had been on birth control the whole time.She said maybe it had been a “miracle” and that it was a “sign” that we were ready. Well, recently she confessed that she had gotten off of her birth control to purposely get pregnant.
I was furious and stormed out and said I was going to divorce her. I am sleeping at a hotel currently and didn’t get much sleep last night due to thinking.
She’s been calling nonstop and texting and she’s crying telling me she’s sorry, but I haven’t answered. Did I overreact? AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Medical-Blueberry764 said:
A relationship can sometimes survive mistakes, but not when one partner removes the other’s choice in something as huge as when to have kids. That’s a dealbreaker for a lot of people. NTA.
The_Stay_At_Home_Dad said:
Oof. Baby trapping and lying to you…NTA. Id be livid if my life changed forever based on a lie.
iknowsomethings2 said:
NTA. She’s manipulative and clearly just wants to be a SAHM. Which is fine, but she’s not being honest and lied to you. Get out now. Get a lawyer, know your options and get you ducks in a row. Better to coparent than stay married to someone you can’t trust.
nah-worries-mate said:
NTA. She purposefully came off her birth control to baby trap you. There are no words for how awful that is.
TotallyNotMyself123 said:
NTA, you can never trust her, I hope you have evidence of what she said it will help you in divorce court.
psychocookeez said:
NTA. To be honest, I feel like she mislead you throughout the whole relationship. I get a vibe that she saw an established guy who could be a meal ticket and she lead you to believe she had all these lofty aspirations that she really didn’t to impress you given that you were socioeconomically above her, plus the fact that she has a dysfunctional background.
If she can barely obtain a GED, she will have a hard time passing college courses. Especially given the fact that you allowed her the luxury of not working and being able to SOLELY focus on her GED…I’m not sure how she’d fail multiple times unless she wasn’t really taking the tests or failing on purpose to delay it and carry out her secret pregnancy plot. I wouldn’t put either past her.
I don’t think she ever intended to be a teacher, she just wanted to snag someone to live off of and her trapping you into a pregnancy is slimy and pretty much just solidifies my opinion. Divorce is perfectly understandable and well within your right, but just be prepared for alimony/child support. You’re going to pay either way.
Knittingfairy09113 said:
NTA. This is meant to be your partner and she lied and manipulated you. There are probably more lies out there. I am not sure if you’ll be able to trust her again.
