“AITA for telling my friend I’m done splitting costs after he keeps rounding up?”
I’m 29M. One of my closest friends (30M, I’ll call him Eric) and I do a lot together (concerts, weekend trips, dinners, random errands). For years we’ve had an easy system: one of us pays the other sends their half. In the last 6 or 7 months, something shifted, its small enough that I kept telling myself I was being petty but its started to feel like a pattern.
For example dinner is $86 and he Venmos me 40 and says “close enough.” Tickets are $148 total, I buy them and he sends 70. Then uber is $34, he says “I got the next one” then the next one is $18 and he acts like it evens out.
If it was once I wouldn’t care but its basically every time and when he pays first he’s weirdly exact like if I owe him him $22.60 he’ll request $22.60 not $22. So I started paying attention. Over the last few months its probably $150-$200 total I mean its not much but enough that it doesn’t feel like an accident anymore.
Last weekend we went to a show. Parking, drinks, snacks all the little stuff added up. I paid for the most of it because Eric kept saying his phone was dying or his card was “acting weird.” The next morning, he sent me one payment and it was short by about $35. I told him “hey, I think you’re missing $35” and he replied “dude come on, you’re counting pennies now?”
That bothered me because Im not the one doing the rounding so I told him Im not doing the casual “we”ll split it later” thing anymore. If we go out we either split at the time or we do separate checks or we alternate whole outings. I said Im not comfortable fronting money and then having it turn into an argument I ask to be reimbursed accurately.
He got offended and said Im treating him like a stranger, that friends do not nickel-and-dime each other and that I make more than he does so it should not matter. He also brought up times years ago when he covered stuff for me which is true but back then it felt balanced and nobody was keeping score.
Now I’m wondering if I escalated something small into something bigger. On the other hand I also feel like if I don’t draw a line this will just keep happening. AITA for changing the rules and refusing to split costs the old way?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Individual_Ad_9213 said:
NTA; $35 is not pennies.
illinoishokie said:
NTA. Your friend is a moocher. You called him out and set a boundary. You might lose him as a friend for that. I’d call that a net positive.
Dull_Berry_6485 said:
It’s interesting how it’s not nickel and diming when he asks for exact amounts, only when you do it. And that’s because he’s decided you’re wealthy enough to afford it. NTA.
your-mom04605 said:
NTA. You’re not nickel and diming him. He’s straight-up stealing from you and is pissed that you called him out on it. He’s a scummy friend and I wouldn’t split costs with him either.
rjvCdn said:
Sounds like you spent $35 to learn to never cover a penny for him again in the future. cheap lesson that’ll save you more in the long run. NTA.
Urbanyeti0 said:
NTA you’re not “nickel and diming” you’re worried about legit differences. Otherwise start returning the favor and rounding in your favor to show how silly it is
