“AITA for sticking my freshly single mom with $20,000 of debt?”
I, 19M have been paying off a car loan from my mom, 40F, since I turned 16. She “gifted” me a new 2022, current year, Nissan Sentra for my birthday. I foolishly never asked how much she signed for because I had assumed that her financially knowledgeable boyfriend at the time would know what he was doing at the dealership.He did not. The original MSRP for my car capped at around $20,000, out the door they walked away with a $40,000 car loan. They put nothing down and had a 10% interest rate because my mom’s credit was bad and she had no job. But even accounting that the math never made sense to me.The payments every month was $510. I didn’t care because the original deal was that me and my mom’s boyfriend would split the monthly note. That lasted for all of 3 months until I was stuck paying the entire thing and have been since that day.About a year ago I went to the bank with my mom to try to transfer the loan from her name to mine but since the interest would be recalculated and would add about $10,000 to the loan we both agreed to not do it. I moved out at 18 and live with a roommate but bills have been tighter.My girlfriend’s mom suggested that I look for a new car that’s more in budget and I found a used 2025 carola with 10k miles for $18k. A better car for cheaper than what I would be paying off of my current car. I told my mom that I was planning to get a new car and if she wanted to sell my current car it would be her decision and she lost her crap.Saying how it’s my responsibility and that it was a “gift” for me and how she “saved” me $10,000 by not transferring the loan. The biggest elephant is that she’s freshly divorced and is looking for a job to support her two younger girls.I told her she can sell the car for about $14-$15k but she refuses and is demanding that I drain my savings to pay for a car that I never agreed to pay for and ultimately was their terrible financial decision.On one hand I don’t feel like I owe her anything and never truly got along with my mom so it is what it is. On the other hand I feel guilty for kicking her while she’s down. Looking for unbiased opinions. Thank you.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
[deleted] said:
Go park the Sentra in her driveway, hand her the keys, and walk away. You let her problems become your problems. This is your out.
wesmorgan1 said:
As long as your name is NOT on the loan or title, it’s not your car. It’s her car (and her boyfriend’s, if he’s on the loan/title), which makes it her obligation. NTA
Noooo0000oooo0001 said:
How is it a gift if you’re paying the full note? NTA.
sweet_teaness said:
That’s not a gift, it’s a debt.
tabithathewitch said:
If you aren’t on any paperwork it isn’t your car. Give her the keys and walk away. Nothing she can do about it.
Hegemonic_Smegma said:
NTA. Sounds like it’s her problem. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep her warm.
lana44766 said:
NTA-It sounds to me like she’s taking her personal stresses and financial issues out on you. Taking the opportunity to blame someone else, even though it doesn’t make any sense, since she’d get a return on the investment that would actually HELP, just takes a little effort.
You never initially agreed that you’d be responsible for it like this, and are making a better financial decision for your own future. Something sustainable. Which is mature and reasonable.
She’s trying to guilt trip you because she’s overwhelmed with her own choices and responsibilities, which isn’t your fault or job to take care of. Don’t let her manipulate you into believing her crap on this. She’ll be fine, and the fact that the car is still so new, she’ll even make money. Money that YOU have been putting into it.
