AITAH for not deleting pictures on my social media that my son’s girlfriend asked me to delete?
My son (20)M is in the military. He has a girlfriend (18f) who he met on TikTok a few months ago. They met up in person for the first time over Christmas (he flew out to see her). I have been supportive of this. He recently called me and his father and said they wanted to get married soon. Also asked that we not tell extended family or they would not allow us at the ceremony. There is A LOT more to this…but to the matter at hand. My son called us this past week and said his girlfriend is uncomfortable with pictures I have on my social media of him and a few of his exes. He asked if I would remove them. I said no. His dad was with my during this call (we were in the car) and he basically told my son it’s your mother’s social media and she’s not going to be doing that. She must have been on the phone listening, cause she messaged me privately via text. It was a long text but with in it she said:
“I just wanted to reach out respectfully and share something that’s been on my mind. I noticed some posts on your Instagram that include (sons name) past relationships, and I’ll be honest it made me feel a little uncomfortable.
I completely understand not wanting to erase memories or your experiences as a mom, and I’m not trying to take that away from you at all. I just hope you can also understand where I’m coming from as the person he’s building his future with.”
I relied back and said:
“Thank you for sharing how this makes you feel. I want to be honest with you as well. Your request makes me uncomfortable. This is my social media account, not his, and we don’t know each other well enough for a request like that to feel appropriate. Because of that, I’m not willing to make changes to my personal accounts. I also think it’s important to respect personal boundaries, especially at this stage. I’m happy to continue getting to know you in a natural way, but I need to be clear about what I’m comfortable with.
That said, yes..photos will remain on my account.
I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.”
I will say, all were posted at the time he was in Those relationships. Nothing since they have been together (I even have a picture from when they met up on there).
My son has not spoken to me since. I am not sure if I was right in this, and while I don’t want him to marry so young, or to someone he barely knows, I can’t stop him. And if she does end up being my DIL, I never want to have a bad relationship with her. But I just cannot get past asking me to delete things she really has no business asking me to. My son has a past and he’s not with those people for a reason obviously. AITAH for refusing to remove them.
