I (M24) work at a university as IT support. I have a younger sister “Cleo” (F20) who started studying at this university in the Autumn of last year.
She’s moved out of the family home and into a houseshare with two friends (our parents live 3 hours away from the school). I love my sister but for some background she can be quite immature for her age. I think my parents have babied her a lot.
When Cleo got accepted into the university and decided that’s where she’s going, my parents made it clear they want me to keep tabs on her. They were worried she’s going to get a sketchy boyfriend, start drinking or just generally be reckless. I told my parents I’d check in with her to make sure she’s ok but I’m not interested in spying on her every move. They’d frequently call me to ask what Cleo is up to. Everytime I’d say she seems fine but you should ask her yourselves.
It’s been pretty uneventful. Cleo seemed like her normal perky self and always told me she was fine when I asked aside from a few small arguments with her housemates.
In the new year Cleo tried to start up a Tiktok-based cookie business. Last week, she called me because she had accidentally caused a kitchen fire. She fell asleep while cookies were in the oven (she said her phone’s alarm didn’t go off) and when she took them out they were in flames and she dropped them on the floor, and firefighters had been called. No one was hurt and other than the kitchen flooring and a bit of the walls there’s no major damage to the house and it’s being covered by insurance and her deposit. I comforted Cleo (who was understandably upset) and helped her talk to her landlord.
When my parents found about this they were absolutely distraut. They said they don’t think Cleo can be trusted to be independent and demanded that I invite her to live with me so that I can keep an eye on her. I live with my fiancée and while we do have a spare bedroom, my fiancée is 4 months pregnant with our first ever child, so we already have a lot going on. Plus, I don’t think this would help Cleo be a responsible adult.
My parents don’t seem to understand my perspective and said it’s my duty as Cleo’s big brother to take care of her, and they don’t feel comfortable having Cleo live away from home unless she’s with me. They seem convinced that she will do this again and genuinely worried but I don’t think she would after that scare, and everyone makes mistakes. We ended up arguing over this and I said I’m not going to parent my adult sister. AITA for not doing more for her like my parents want?
