“AITA for yelling at my wife on our wedding night?”
I 32M have a best friend 30F. Me and my best friend have been friends for almost 20 years and she’s almost like a sister to me. Me and her are completely platonic and have never even thought of the idea that we would “hook up” or date. I met my wife 31F in a bar about 3 years ago.
Immediately I told my best friend all about her and she gave me tips on what to say and how to ask her out. When I knew me and my wife were getting more serious i introduced my best friend to her and they seemed to get along great. They would talk about makeup, and pretty much anything girly.
They seemed to be really getting along which made me more than happy. A little while later I proposed to her and it was a memory I could never forget. Her family was there, my family was there, and of course all of our friends.
While preparing for the wedding my wife gave me the shock of a lifetime and told me she didn’t want me to talk to my best friend anymore.
She told me it seems as if she has a crush on me and she doesn’t wanna feel insecure on HER big day, I told my wife I would talk to her and that’s exactly what I did.
I talked to my best friend and told her what my wife had said, she told me that she didn’t want to mess up my “happy relationship” and that if my wife wanted her to be out of my life she understood but was heartbroken since I have always been a brother to her. She left and I was devastated.
On the day of the wedding, what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life I was miserable that my best friend wasn’t there to see me and celebrate with me. That night I got so fed up and ended up telling my wife that its her fault I had the most horrible wedding day.
She started to cry but I was too angry and stormed out. I still haven’t contacted my best friend or my wife. So, AITA for yelling at my wife on our wedding day?? A little more info for all of you, I could understand how my wife would be insecure since my best friend is tall, skinny, and the definition of a model and my wife is short and has many insecurities.
I still love her nonetheless but I can see how that affected her. Also, for those of you saying I didn’t fight back I feel as if I explained the situation wrongly. When my wife told me about the “crush” my friend had on me I didn’t know what to think.
I went to go talk to my friend to see the truth if she liked me or not and she assured me she didn’t. Surprisingly, my friend was the one who suggested she stay out of my life, I didn’t tell her anything about her not being able to speak to me. AITA?
Let’s see what readers thought.
INFO: Why did your wife think your best friend had a crush on you?
Impossible_Price_928 OP:
From my understanding, My wife thought my friend was jealous we were getting married since she had tried to help us with the money.
PugRexia
Wait what? Your best friend offered to help you pay for your wedding? And your wife took that to mean she has a crush on you? What did your best friend say about that?
Impossible_Price_928 OP:
My best friend was obviously heartbroken when I talked to her because she loved my wife and loved me. She assured me she didn’t have a crush on me and was the one mentioned not talking to me before I even brought it up. She knew that I was happy with my wife and “didn’t want to get in the way”.
PugRexia
Bruh. That’s pretty messed up. If you knew your wife was acting absurd why didn’t you challenge her then? You just rolled over and let her ruin your 20 year friendship and then you let all your frustration get pent up and let it out at a terrible time.
BTW your edit just makes you look worse. You need to grow a spine.
Alternative-Print804
Info: did your wife give a reason why she wanted you to cut the friend out? Is it possible the friend, out of earshot of you, said or did something to make your wife feel insecure or that she didn’t really support your relationship? Could your friend have maybe taunted your wife that if friend wanted you she could have you or that she’s more important in your life than your wife?
Impossible_Price_928 OP:
My wife told me she wanted me to cut my friend out of my life because she was feelings insecure and felt as if my friend was jealous we were getting married. As far as I know of, my friend didn’t do anything to make my wife doubt the relationship me and her have.
advancedawareness writes:
YTA. You let this happen. You did not push back on your fiancé. You torched your best friend. You let it go further, all the way through the wedding. Then you took your frustration at your failure to stand up for yourself out on your wife. Your fiancé was irrational in her request. You were repeatedly the ass thereafter.
okcontext35 writes:
ESH. You should have resolved this before your wedding. Her befriending your bestie then demanding you to never talk to her again AFTER you proposed is not okay. But then you just agreed and didn’t try to compromise to find some type of middle ground. I’d never drop a 20 year friend, who’d done nothing wrong, just because of an insecure spouse.
feetflatground writes:
ESH. Who the hell picks a fight on their wedding night? A conversation that you could’ve had months ago. It may even have saved you some money. Your wife sucks too – for asking you to drop your best friend. Maybe an annulment is still possible.
Any advice for him?
