AITAH (I know I am but hear me out) for cheating on my girlfriend of 6 years.
I’m (28m) not helping my case by starting this off like this but my gf (27f) is probably anything anyone could ever ask for she’s loyal, smart, trustworthy, respectful, etc, and all the above..
she works to much for to little money in my opinion, but she doesn’t really touch a bill in the apartment we live in, besides half of just rent. I take care of my half, utilities, car note, and insurance which doesn’t bother me, but as I’ve told her before I feel like if I am paying for most of the stuff, the house should at least be clean, and it rarely ever is. I find myself taking my days off to fill up trash bags with clutter from all over the house, clean and scrub the bathroom/ kitchen to the core, or I find myself having to wear basketball shorts with no underwear because laundry isn’t done. We’ve even had a really bad fruit fly infestation at one point, that again I had to fix.
But now I am at the point where I would like a to start a family (mostly have a child). But I really wouldn’t feel comfortable raising children in this current state.
And SHE would like to get married.
If I decided to leave (and I’m going to sound like an Ahole) I don’t think she would be able to make it on her own and that worries me. Since being together, her parents have moved hours away, and she doesn’t have siblings or many friends. And that worries me. I feel like I am taking care of her and I am her rock… but I’ve crumbled and she doesn’t know it.
I also don’t know how to express this anymore than I already have.
I don’t even know what I’m looking for in someone else, I’m not craving any thing emotional or physical, my gf gives me more than I can take of love and touch. But yet, I’ve been entertaining another woman (30 F). Which hasn’t gone far. If the roles were reversed, I know I’d be devastated and wouldn’t know how to handle myself.
Yet she isn’t the one who is craving clean home, children, family, stability.. which we’ve spoken about before, and I just feel like nothings changing. I feel like she maybe too comfortable.
And I feel stuck.
LTS: gf is messy, and can’t keep up a household. Yet wants to get married.
I want kids, but don’t feel comfortable raising kids in a messy household.
Don’t know how to express my feelings anymore so I fell into temptation
