“I want to propose to my boyfriend, but I just found out about his plans…”
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 incredibly glorious years. I thought it’d be fun if I proposed to him. Secretly, I’ve planned everything, got a ring, and set a date to do it. I wasn’t going to tell my mom, dad or brothers. I wanted it be a surprise to everyone and I just told my sister.
When talking to my sister about it and she’s smiling telling me how a great a idea it was, my eavesdropping mom goes “no no no! I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but he’s proposing.” My mom doesn’t know when he’s proposing saying he was unsure about a specific timeframe, but he showed her the ring and told my dad that he was about to “daddy him up.”
I was going to propose in 2 days, but now I don’t know if should just let him do it, even though he doesn’t have an exact timeframe. I mean he’s the guy so I feel like I have to let him but I was so so excited about doing it myself. I feel like if I do it, he’ll feel disappointed, even though it’s already how I feel since I was so excited about this. What should I do?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
GrotiusandPufendorf said:
Let him propose and give him his moment. Then, after he’s done so, surprise him with a second proposal where you propose to him.
elendinel said:
I would talk to him. The rules on who proposes get more and more relaxed every day, and you shouldn’t have to give up all your plans just cause he has plans that haven’t been solidified yet.
If you tell him ahead of time, you two can maybe plan something together, so that you both get to propose, and no one steals the other’s thunder by going “actually, I too was going to propose.” Congrats, in any event!
[deleted] said:
February 29 leap year is a traditional time for women to propose. Just a tidbit I learned.
aenflex said:
I would just tell him. Not saying you should do that, but that’s what I would do. Try to parlay it into some really cool engagement party, or fun trip somewhere wherein each would try to outdo the other with their proposal. Best of luck!
UPDATE:
So yesterday he took me to run errands but he “randomly” decided to we should just have fun instead. He took me around the city, we tried all kinds of food, had honestly the most fun I’ve had since I was a kid, made memories off of little moments, I didn’t think that much of it.
I realized that the whole day had basically been an all day-date, I knew it had to be coming and I had the ring with me and I was going to try and propose at the same time (someone suggested this in my original post and I thought it would be cute).
He opened my door, walked me down a beautiful pathway and just looked me in the eyes and I said yes. He laughed and dropped down to one knee and I started crying and forgot that I was supposed to be proposing too.
I don’t even remember what he said, he was on his knee for a while saying what I’m sure were the sweetest things, but I was too busy crying. I’d already said yes before he even got down on one knee so he put the ring on my finger.
We went home and and I realized I didn’t propose, he wanted to shower and we sometimes shower together so I proposed to him in there. He smiled and said “I wonder if when our first kid is born will it top this moment” then because I was on my knees in the shower he had to make a dirty joke.
After we got out he held me while we called his parents (I’d already called my whole family in car ride home). Yesterday was amazing and now I’m laying next to him while he plays video games and he’s talking about our engagement to his friends and I couldn’t be happier and I don’t know how to contain all this and just ugh! I love you Nathan!
Here’s what people had to say to OP about the update:
MakosUnited said:
Congratulations! Sounds like a beautiful day, very happy for you both!
Nathansp1984 said:
Congratulations! My name is also Nathan and I too am planning on proposing soon, hopefully it goes as well as yours.
IrritatedMango said:
This is so disgustingly wholesome and it’s melting my cold heart :’) Congrats!
gravelmonkey said:
This is the best! My SO and I both planned surprise proposals, but he did his first. I’m not mad though. Congrats!
Sommiel said:
Congratulations! We expect to be seeing you in the weekly love fest posts. No pressure!
substantialabsurdity said:
This is so freaking cute! Congratulations!
