AITAH for not apologizing to my friends girlfriend after she found out Im not gay and lost her mind about it
This whole situation is so insane I dont even know where to start but I need outside opinions because people are actually telling me I owe this woman an apology.
I have a close friend group from uni. Theres four of us. Me and three others. Weve been tight for about six years now. After graduating we started doing monthly hangouts and if anyone is seeing someone theyre welcome to come.
One of my friends has been dating this woman for about eight months. Shes a few years older than him and at first she seemed cool. A little intense maybe but whatever he was happy. She started coming to our hangouts regularly about five months ago.
Now heres the thing about me. I dont date much. Havent brought anyone around in years. One of my closest friends in the group is a guy and weve always had a brother sister dynamic. Zero romantic anything. Ever. Another close friend in the group is openly gay.
Apparently because I never brought guys around and I live with my friend whos gay this womans boyfriend let her believe I was also gay. Not because I ever said that. Not because anyone told her that. He just never corrected it. In fact I found out later he actively encouraged it because it made her feel more comfortable with me being around.
A few months ago I started seeing someone. When I was ready for him to meet everyone I texted the group chat and literally said can I bring my boyfriend. Used the word boyfriend. Used he him pronouns. Could not have been more clear.
My friends boyfriend apparently told her I was bringing my partner. Just partner. No pronouns. No clarification. Even though my message was right there in the chat.
Saturday night we all went to dinner. I introduced my boyfriend to everyone. Things seemed fine for about ten minutes. Then she disappeared. Just gone. Wasnt in the bathroom wasnt at the table wasnt anywhere. Her boyfriend tried calling her and she wasnt answering. Turned out she left and was sitting in her car in the parking lot.
He convinced her to go home and said hed get a ride. We stayed and had dinner. It was awkward but fine.
When we were leaving we walked past her car in the lot. She was STILL THERE. She got out and started screaming at me. Calling me names I wont repeat. My boyfriend and I just left.
Next day her boyfriend called me and said she wants an apology from me. For not telling her I was straight.
Let that sink in. She wants ME to apologize because HER boyfriend told her I was gay and never corrected it even though I literally said boyfriend in the group chat.
Then I found out the full picture. Apparently her boyfriend has been comparing me to her for months. Telling her he wishes she was more like me. Making comments about me. And he told her years ago that I turned him down which meant I must be gay. So this whole time she thought I was safe. And now that Im not she thinks I was playing some long game to steal him.
Theres more. She claims she saw me through the restaurant window touching him. I was literally just talking to him. My hands were nowhere near him. She also claims Ive been making passes at him for years which is absolutely insane because this man is like a brother to me and everyone who actually knows me knows that.
Three of us sat down and wrote out a message to the group explaining everything and saying we wont be reaching out again. But I keep getting messages telling me I should just apologize to keep the peace.
Apologize for what. For being straight. For having a boyfriend. For existing near a man who apparently cant stop talking about me to his girlfriend. None of this is my fault and I refuse to apologize for a problem they created.
AITA?
