I love my parents to be clear – but there’s been some rocky paths on the way, it all started a few years ago, I reminded them how I was struggling with my mental health because of the family friend who sexually abused me for pretty much all my childhood, I told them when it came to an end when I was a teen and they basically shrugged it off and made me feel like I was making a big deal out of nothing. I told them how much it had affected me suppressing it for nearly two decades and they offered to help me in any way I wanted and I said I’m not ready to go public about it yet and confront him, he’s a dangerous man and there’s a lot tied to him. Between all this, I finally bought my own house years after renting off of crappy landlords. So my parents came to stay and my Dad insisted that the old decaying tree in the front yard needed cutting down, I agreed it was a bit intrusive but let me talk to my neighbor first, my neighbor was a bit of a Karen very controlling and in my face, but in fairness to her she was concerned about my Dad cutting down the tree, asking not to do it till at least her son had moved his car. We all agreed that’s a good idea.

I wake up to the sound of a massive thud and crash in the morning, my Dad has got up early, cut down the tree and you guessed it… it fell on her son’s car… a soft top convertible, yeah you can imagine the damage. So my neighbor and her son (once he arrived) was furious, my parents weren’t overly bothered and said “well that’s what car insurance is for” but things got heated and then I had a lawsuit on my hands also some money to pay to get the tree cleared off etc. I couldn’t afford it and my parents even said “well you’re clearly not cut out to be a homeowner, you should go back to renting” so I guess some guilt came over them and they leant me the 10k so I could pay the legal fees settlement etc etc and they said to pay them back in the future which I did agree that at the time.

Then the next situation, my birthday that year, had it back at my parents home with my siblings and they decided, despite non of us being close to him, invited the man that sexually abused me over for the birthday dinner. I was mortified and very uncomfortable, he was still just as creepy and scary. After he left, my parents even made jokes about him being there, I was numb. Then months later I finally had a breakdown and went public about who my abuser was, it ripped our social circles apart and my parents commanded me over the phone to never tell anyone that they knew, I agreed, and they put on this act of shock like they never knew. I confronted my parents over this and they desperately apologised, but it was a year of me having to look after their best interests… not my own. I offered to pay some of the loan back and they said “no no, go live your life, you’re still young, go on that hiking trip with your friends” so I assumed given all the shit they’ve put me through the last few years, it was written off. I then met my fiance, I sold my house so we could get somewhere in a better location together, to my shock, my parents held their hand out and said “we’ll have that 10k now then please” and I had to explain why I don’t feel I should. A lot of people think I’m an asshole, am I the asshole?