AITAH for requesting my biological father to pay my mother 18 years worth of child support?
I 27 female have never met/known my biological father. When my mum was 19 she fell pregnant with me but he demanded abortion. My mum couldn’t agree to it, she decided to keep me. When I was around 6months old, things between them got so bad that she decided to run away (my mum has hinted that he tried to hurt me but hadn’t given specific details) for a long time she struggled with money and place to live but ended up meeting a man who took her in and they fell in love.
I grew up thinking he was my father up until I was about 10 years old. My mum and step dad decided that it would be nice to adopt me and give me his last name so they arranged to meet my biological dad to ask him for permission, my biological dad declined.
My mum was confused since he never bothered with me or paid any child support no matter how much she begged for help. I guess some kind of anger appeared from her side and she decided to let the government know that he isn’t paying and opened a case against him. Nothing ever came out of it and when I was 12 she split up with my step dad due to his alcohol addiction, so in the end she was forced to move to a different country to try and give me a better life and hopefully become more financially stable.
Little extra back story: I have now lived in the uk for 15 years, I have a great life, amazing relationship with my mother and financially stable. My mother unfortunately decided to move back to our home country last year as she legally had to work there for at least 10 years to earn a pension. Part of me has always wanted to move back to my home country. I often feel like an outcast but I am scared I won’t be able to make ends meet.
Last week, my mum received a letter from the government saying that the child support case is still open and has been passed over to the bailiffs, they asked if she wanted to carry on with the case and claim the child support money from my biological father. My mum called me, explained the situation and said she will do whatever I wanted to do.
Part of me holds anger towards him because of how much my mum was struggling all these years. When I was a teenager I would often cry myself to sleep because of how much my mum was hurting. He is a big part of the reason I am now living in a different country and not feeling like I fit in. However I do also think, he always said he didn’t want a child from the start, it was my mums decision to keep me.
Either way, we had to give them an answer by Monday so I called my mum today and told her that she deserves that money and she should go for it.
My biological father is financially stable. Has two houses, a flat in the capital city and many Forrest’s (which in Europe are very valuable). I know he has the money and isn’t poor.
Am I the asshole?
