My Husband Refused to Let Me Breastfeed Our Baby Because He Said It Would Make Him “Weak.”
I just had our baby, and instead of focusing on healing and bonding, I was already fighting a battle I never expected.
At the hospital, when the nurses said it was time to breastfeed, my husband immediately shut it down. He told them he didn’t want his son drinking breast milk because he wanted him to be “strong,” and asked if there was anything else the baby could drink instead. The nurses explained that breast milk has the best nutrients and that if I didn’t pump, my ducts could clog and become extremely painful. He shrugged it off like it didn’t matter.
That’s when they took him out of the room and pulled me aside. They asked if everything was okay at home and if they needed to call the police. Officers were walking the floor. I told them everything was fine because I was scared, exhausted, and just wanted to go home. They helped me pump, but he wasn’t allowed back in the room.
When we got home, the baby slept, and I pumped like usual. I made so much milk almost half a gallon, hours of pumping, sore breasts, sore body, running on no sleep. The next morning, I went to feed my baby and realized all the milk was gone. I called my husband, and he casually told me he poured it out and was bringing formula instead.
I broke down. I cried so hard I didn’t even realize I pulled some of my hair out from stress. My baby was crying. My body hurt everywhere. When he came home, he threw the formula on the couch and said, “Feed my son.” When I opened it, I saw a milworm in one of the containers. He told me to just take it out and said, “It comes from the farm.” I stood there thinking, what did I marry? I used another container that looked fine, but it didn’t matter every time I pumped after that, he threw the milk away. A whole month of pain, effort, and healing for nothing. Eventually, our baby was fully on formula.
An African friend told me I should report what was happening, but I said I was fine. She taught me how to stop my milk supply with cabbage and greens in my bra and it worked. I still wasn’t healed. My body hadn’t recovered. But my husband wanted sex anyway, and I gave in. Then he told me my sex was terrible, admitted he’d been cheating with another woman in our garage while I could hear it, and she knew we had a baby and didn’t care. He was never like this before. Now I want to leave but I have nowhere to go. I need advice!
