AITA for wanting my fiance to stand up to a flirty long time friend?
My future SIL has a childhood friend that has always had a crush on my SILs older brother (my fiance). My FIL even jokes about how she would always bug him growing up and just had googly eyes for him. He has never said my fiance reciprocated but instead treated her more like an annoying little sister. Okay that’s fine. I get it.
But fast forward and I meet her for the first time. She is obsessed with me instantly. Like weirdly. Asks for my number, texts me all the time and soon tells me she loves me and wants to hang out all the time. Okay. Maybe she doesn’t have a lot of friends (she doesn’t according to my SIL).
The first time we hang out just us girls and SIL my fiance actually ends up coming bc we’re at my in laws house but he’s somewhere doing his own thing and me SIL and friend and I are chatting in living room. She quickly starts asking very inappropriate questions about our sex lives that I do not answer because a) I wouldn’t anyway and b) I am literally at my in laws with my SIL not going to answer anything about her brother in front of her.
Gross. Then when my fiance comes back from whatever he’s doing, friend wont take her eyes off him, calling him handsome all night, making conversation with only him, stays for dinner and sits across from him and only talks to him, and he engages and makes me feel like he forgets I am even there, and ofc me and him argue about it when we get home and he apologizes and says he doesn’t see her like that and will do better next time etc. SIL calls my fiance the next day noticing I was off at the house and he explains that friend was inappropriate and SIL agrees. Apparently this is one of the reasons she doesn’t have friends. SIL says she will talk to friend. The end of that.
Fast forward to another family event, I am 6 months pregnant and we’re about to get married and friend is there. She makes her way over to fiance and talks to only him before we go out for dinner. Pulls up a chair and even when their convo is done just sits there in silence next to him Looking at him when she can. Whatever. Strike 1 but I don’t say anything.
Then we get to restaurant and trying to figure out seating and fiance insists we sit at the end so it’s easier for me, I say I’m fine and also don’t want to sit there (in my head also because she’s right there) and I make my way down the table and he stands there in front of her. I ask him where are you going? And he says oh I don’t know.
Then sits down beside me and I tell him it’s weird he had such a hard time making a decision and if he really wants to go sit there then go and he says he’s upset because I’m making nothing into something. I apologize say let’s not ruin dinner , strike 2 in my eyes but again let’s move past it.
Then we go back to house for cake and she starts making comments to him about his hygiene and how clean he is (he really is) asking him what his skin care routine is and where he gets facials done and she wants to go too and I say nothing but am annoyed.
Then as we’re leaving he gives her a one hand hug as he’s carrying something and she announces that his hugs used to be SO much better, he used to hold her tight and crack her back, she doesn’t know why they changed so I say “maybe you should ask him to and see if he will”. Silence. From the whole room. And then her stuttering starts “well … something something I dont think he did it intentionally before” or something stupid. So now I’m not speaking to my fiance and when we finally do he tells me it was my job as a woman to tell her if I’m uncomfortable despite many many MANY conversations of him agreeing he should’ve done more the first time around and would in the future . He says if it was a man he would’ve just said something to him so I should do the same. AITA for expecting him to say something to her and handle it?
