AITAH for leaving home without my husband?
Throwaway account.
My son (16) is in wrestling. Yesterday was his regional tournament to qualify for states.
My husband and I have been together for 10 years and share a 3.5yo together. My husband has not been able to go to any of my sons tournaments due to his work schedule.
I unfortunately haven’t been able to attend many either because of our 3yo, lack of babysitters and it just generally being incredibly difficult to chase a 3yo in massive crowds of people when all they want to do is run the halls or use the bleachers as a jungle gym. My sons father has thankfully been there for every tournament, and so has my exs parents, so he has always had a good support system but it has made me feel super shitty that I haven’t been able to really be involved.
I spoke to my husband a week ago about how I was 100% going to this tournament and expressed wanting to find a sitter that day so I didnt have to worry about our child and could focus on my son. HE made the suggestion that he would switch days with someone so he could go and keep an eye on our child while there. I was super grateful and we had been planning and packing all week. Well, Thursday he tells me his mom wants to go too and that she wants to ride with us.
This definitely bothered me from the jump because she has a habit of being late, as she has zero sense of urgency, and the ride to the location was an hour and 25 minutes. So I told him she had better be here at 7am, no later, because the event started at 8:40.
Well, 7 rolls around and then 720. I tell my husband I am getting fucking pissed and I can 2 seconds from leaving without her. He tells me she is “right down the street”. 10 minutes later she pulls in, comes inside and sits on my couch and tells my husband that she “will let him” make her a pot of coffee because she didnt have time to get herself any. I tell her we can hit dunkin and that we are late.
She says she doesnt want dunkin and a pot of coffee wont take long. Instead of my husband defending me, he just starts making a pot of coffee. Our coffee pot takes 20 minutes to brew. Its old, its needs replacement. So, I just didnt say anything. I grab our child and all of our snacks and packed items and leave him and his mom at the house. He calls me at 7:56 asking where I am and I told him that I was on my way to the tournament. He is asking why we didnt wait for him and I told him I was done putting his selfish mom above our plans and I made myself clear from the moment she invited herself along. I told him my son comes first and they already made me late and that this will be the last time I depend on him for anything (he also has a habit of downplaying the importance of things that are super important to me, as being “not a big deal”). He said it wasnt like we would have missed much from being 40 minutes late. I hang up.
He and his mom didnt show up. I spent the entire tournament chasing our kid, outside of when my ex and his parents helped me (go figure) and missed my sons first match. My husband uses the argument that if I wanted him there and if it was important that he went than I would have waited for him. I am disgusted by him, to be blunt. But he is still pissed that I even left without him, saying I disrespected and embarassed him and that there was no way he was going to show up at a children’s event angry because that would have been inappropriate. AITA?
(My son made states)
