I quit my job so I do not have to work the holidays and now a new mom has to work in my place.

I am an ICU nurse and for the last six years I have worked every Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Year’s. It was no big deal to work all these holidays because I do not have an immediate family (widowed 5 years ago and no children due to infertility issues). My parents and siblings have jobs in retail and public safety which require them to work the holidays as well, so we traditionally celebrate the holidays several days after the actual holiday.

This year my parents retired and wanted to take a family trip to Europe because we have many relatives in Europe and they wanted to go to the European Christmas Markets. In July of this year I requested the week of Christmas off and it was approved. My brother and sister, as well as their spouses also got the time off from their jobs since it was requested so early. We are heading to Europe for Christmas!

Fast forward to the last week of October, my boss calls me in the office to tell me that she has to take away my Christmas vacation because a co-worker had a baby a few months ago and she needs the time off to celebrate the baby’s first Christmas (this same co-worker had a baby last year and had this baby 10 months from the other one). The co-worker did not work any holidays last year and is not scheduled to work any this year (made boss aware of this point). I argued that my vacation request was approved back in July and I made plans based on that request being approved. Also, that I had worked the last six Christmas holidays and would be working Thanksgiving and New Year. She stated that the priority for holiday vacations was given to those who had families. I informed her that just because I am widowed and did not have children does not mean I do not have a family. She backpedaled and stated that people with children were given priority so they could spend Christmas with them. Again I reminded her that my vacation was approved back in July and I would not cancel my trip so someone who did not request vacation time in a timely manner could have the time off just because she had a baby. Needless to say, my boss did not change her mind. She put me on the schedule for Christmas and took my co-worker off.

I took the issue to HR and they simply said the manager is the one who determines the schedule and no work rules were broken. Well, her plan backfired as I turned in my notice and my last day will be the day before Thanksgiving. Since I quit, my co-worker now has to work Thanksgiving and Christmas.

My other co-workers are saying I am a jerk for not just sucking it up and working Christmas and letting my other co-worker have Christmas with her baby. Normally, I do work all the holidays so people can have time with their family. I have for the past six years! The one time I want to do something special with my family, I am the villain. I do not feel I am the a-hole here since I requested the time off and made plans accordingly.

I will greatly miss my job, as I loved the hospital where I worked and the unit I was in. However, it is time for reflection and to put me first, something I have not done since my husband passed. Since nursing jobs are plentiful, I plan on taking the entire month of December off and look for a new job in the new year.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

SnooPaintings8917

NTA. your time isn’t less valuable simply because you don’t have children. also, the new baby isn’t gonna remember Christmas anyway. if it was that serious she would have requested the time off responsibly the way you did.

yellobanan

She had at least 8 months to realize that this would be this baby‘s first Christmas. She could’ve put in her request before yours, but she just expected people to give away their time for her. NTA.

pinotJD

NTA. If you are in the United States, please consult with an employment lawyer. Your manager is not permitted to discriminate based on family choice. Get a strongly worded demand letter and get your money, honey.

Moggetti

NTA. If your co-workers feel so strongly about New Mom getting Christmas off, they presumably could work Christmas. Problem solved.

Mandiezie1

NTA and you could still file an entire lawsuit over this. It’s illegal to do what they did and absolutely discriminatory for HR not to back this play.

FreddyBear001

I would not feel guilty one bit…it’s their loss of a great employee. You put in the time and paid your dues so it’s time to do something nice for yourself and your family. Jobs come and go but you can’t replace lost time and missed holidays spent away from your family. So go and have some fun with your family without giving it a second thought. You might find a new job that you like even better.

Trick_Few

NTA The manager was too heavy handed in granting employees with children priority holiday hours. This is what happens when you treat your employees like garbage. I suggest sending in an exit letter to the CEO or Director in order to bypass HR and your former Manager. On a side note, German Christmas Fests are truly magical. Enjoy your time with your parents.

satr3d

Your boss and coworkers are idiots, and ungrateful. Also this coworker probably had some head’s up the baby was coming? Like say 8-9 months? She could have requested the vacation in advance and didn’t. Screw them, find a better job in the new year and have an amazing time in Europe at the Christmas markets.

Uhgley

I honestly think if you hadn’t quit, it would eventually have shown up somewhere in your body. There’s only so much being pushed aside a person can take before it turns into stress or illness, so good for you for choosing yourself before it got worse. That said, quitting in this market isn’t easy, so it’s great that you already plan to look for a new role

LittleMissSugar126

Good for you!!! I can’t stand all these people who think that just because they have kids they are entitled to more time off and holidays off than those of us who don’t have kids. We still have our own lives, friends, and families.