AITA for cancelling my wedding after finding out my fiancé tested my “loyalty”?
Throwaway because this has already blown up in my personal life.
I (29F) was engaged to my fiancé “Mark” (31M) for a little over a year. We’d been together for four years total, and I genuinely thought we had a solid relationship. No major fights, shared goals, and what I believed was mutual trust.
About two months ago, a random woman messaged me on social media. She was friendly at first—complimented my photos, asked about wedding planning, and said she was “new in town.” Something felt off, but I didn’t think much of it.
Over the next few weeks, she started subtly flirting. Nothing explicit, but enough to notice. I shut it down every time and eventually stopped replying altogether.
Last week, Mark sat me down and confessed that the woman was actually his coworker, and the entire situation was a “test.” He said he’d been cheated on in a previous relationship and wanted to make sure I was “trustworthy” before getting married. He expected me to be relieved that I “passed.”
I was stunned. I told him that secretly testing me crossed a massive boundary and destroyed my trust. He argued that I was focusing on the wrong thing and that my reaction proved I wasn’t ready for marriage. His family agrees with him and says I’m being dramatic because I “did nothing wrong.”
I called off the wedding.
Now his friends say I overreacted and threw away years over a misunderstanding. My friends say this was a huge red flag and I escaped something worse.
I feel heartbroken but also strangely calm.
So… AITA for cancelling the wedding over this?
