AITA for wanting my boyfriend to stay with me while I was miscarrying instead of going out drinking?

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to stay with me while I was miscarrying instead of going out drinking?

Lunch was supposed to be a calm break—until spotting turned to heavy bleeding at 8 weeks pregnant. Terrified, in pain, and changing pads constantly, she looked to her boyfriend of 18 months for support. His first day at a new job meant he couldn’t stay long, but he promised the doctor in the morning. Then friends showed up, and despite her pleas in front of them, he walked out.

Two hours later he stumbled home drunk, muttered an excuse, and passed out—leaving her to drive herself to the ER alone while passing tissue. Social media erupted: heartbreak, rage, and urgent health warnings. This wasn’t just a fight; it was a raw exposure of who shows up when everything’s on the line.

This image is not real, it was generated by AI to depict the situation of the story.

'AITA for wanting my boyfriend to stay with me while I was miscarrying instead of going out drinking?'

The nightmare began halfway through lunch — when everything suddenly went wrong.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (22F) have been together for a year and a half. I recently found out I was pregnant around 5 weeks ago, and I've been dealing...

His new job pulled him away, but they planned care for later.

I got worried, but it was his first day at a new job, so he had to head back to work. I said we could see a doctor after he...

He came back, comforted me for a couple of hours, and I just wanted to rest. We decided to go in the morning unless things got worse or I developed...

Friends arrived, and everything changed.

His friends stopped by and wanted him to join them out. He decided to go, saying we'd head to the doctor in the morning and that I'd be okay. I...

I felt scared and in pain, and I didn't want to be alone—I even asked him not to go in front of his friends. He had already told them what...

I'm really hurt that he left, and he's been making me feel like a burden. He says I'm being selfish for wanting him to stay. Am I wrong? I'm so...

TLDR: My boyfriend (26M) and I (22F) argued in front of his friends because I was upset he went out with them while I was dealing with pregnancy complications and...

The update came alone in the dark.

UPDATE: He came back after about 2 hours, saying he wanted to get them out of the house and they wouldn't take no for an answer. Then he fell asleep....

She needed a partner, not a roommate with benefits—especially while her body expelled a pregnancy in real time. His choice to leave wasn’t just tone-deaf; it was abandonment during a medical crisis. Calling her “selfish” for wanting presence flips reality: true selfishness is prioritizing beer over blood.

From his side, new-job nerves and friend pressure might’ve clouded judgment, but adults pause the party when someone’s hemorrhaging. Excuses about “they wouldn’t leave” ring hollow—doors lock, phones silence. This wasn’t peer pressure; it was priority.

Dr. Alexandra Sacks, co-author of What No One Tells You, explains the “push-pull” of early parenthood fears: “Pregnancy amplifies attachment needs. A secure partner responds with presence, not escape.” His flight response signals deeper unreadiness—or unwillingness—for the role.

Immediate steps matter most now. She needs medical clearance, grief support, and a safety plan. Local clinics offer sliding-scale miscarriage care; rideshare credits or women’s shelters can bridge transport gaps. Long-term, therapy helps process both loss and betrayal. Future partners prove reliability in emergencies—this one already voted with his feet.

Check out how the community responded:

Users overwhelmingly supported her, urging escape from a man who bailed during crisis.

SignalEchoFoxtrot − Do you want this man to be the father of your child?

BeautifulPhantom1 − NTA, but you shouldn't have to beg someone that supposedly loves you for their time and attention at any time, much less when you are having a medical...

UnicornTardigrade − NTA I’ve miscarried before, at 11 weeks, and it’s awful. Even though it’s a common occurrence, it’s still extremely traumatic. Your boyfriend is a complete AH and tbh...

 

 

Any partner you have should *want * to be by your side when you’re going through something that even has the *possibility* of being painful and traumatic. His actions also...

HarveySnake − NTA The callous disregard your bf showed for your health and the baby’s health is unbelievable. Women can die from pregnancies that go badly.

He should have put everything on hold as soon as you saw blood and taken you to the hospital. nta, dump him. Don’t have a baby with someone who clearly...

 

 

ss-mcbrn − HE CALLED YOU SELFISH BECAUSE YOU NEEDED SUPPORT WHILE MISCARRYING? ?? Tell him that he’s selfish for choosing fun over love and support while you were in pain...

A year and a half isn’t much compared to living your life and having children with this POS. If he would choose his friends over a medical emergency then he...

A few balanced urgency with empathy, sharing survival stories.

opensilkrobe − Has the bleeding calmed down? If you’re bleeding through two pads or more in an hour, call an ambulance.

Mehitabel9 − I think you need to call for paramedics. It sounds to me like you need immediate medical attention. This man is not anyone you need or want to...

5amcreature − If you're still bleeding that heavily please see a doctor, you could be in trouble and need medical intervention. I did earlier this year and it can change...

 

 

Your boyfriend is an i__ot, be should be looking after you. Clear NTA and not to be that person on reddit saying break up with him, but in your position...

Huge_Photograph_9583 − NTA , but his there a reason you haven’t gone to the hospital yet? You should really be in a hospital right now….

adacrossman5 − UPDATE: He came back 2 hours later, saying he wanted to get them out of the house and they wouldn’t take no for an answer. Then he fell...

 

 

Yes I did go through that many pads. And passed probably a pound worth of tissue. Yes bleeding eventually slowed down but I am bleeding more heavily than my normal...

Mistymouse516 − You mentioned you dont have friends. Is it possible that youre clinging to him because you’re alone? Get the courage to leave. At 22, you need to figure...

Reasonable_Pass_7488 − Girl take this as a sign that he’s not the right guy. That said, you ARE allowed to grieve the loss of your baby. Seek counseling & support....

 

 

peachschnaaps − This might be hard for you right now. However, it could be the best thing that has happened. I had the same thing happen to me. Whilst I...

I'm glad to say that nearly 10 years later, im now pregnant and with a man that will support me through everything. I'm sorry for the loss of your baby,...

Just4TheSpamAndEggs − Okay. .. I'm going to get very blunt and I apologize. But, as a woman who has experienced multiple miscarriages and who is also now a mother? Do...

 

 

But, I remember when I was pregnant with my first born and I woke up bleeding profusely at 4 months. We had just celebrated getting out of the "danger zone"...

I called my husband (then boyfriend) and he immediately told his work he needed to leave. He came home to me in the bath and he sat next to the...

He stayed with me. He drove me to the hospital. He came to the doctor. He stayed. I ended up just having a severe cervical infection. I ended up on...

He started working 2 jobs to support us. He never even questioned it. We had only been dating months. If my husband could rise to the occasion during that time?...

Lighthearted relief came in one blunt line.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Holy crap leave this man.

In the end, bleeding turned to loss, pleas turned to silence, and a two-hour party became a lifetime red flag. She drove herself to safety; he slept off the night. The internet agreed: love shows up, especially in the dark. Miscarriage steals enough—don’t let it steal your standards too. Would you stay with someone who vanished when you needed them most, or see the exit as mercy?

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