AITAH for telling my brother and his fiancé I can’t babysit every second Sunday anymore?
First time reddit poster on this sub, apologies if it is messy or confusing in anyway.
I (21F) have a brother (27) and his fiancé (27F). They had a baby in November 2024. Before the baby was born, my sister (23) and I agreed to babysit every second Sunday once they went back to work.
At the time, I was working casually and had a flexible schedule. By mid 2025, my work and personal commitments changed. I gave them notice that I couldn’t keep committing to every second Sunday. I said I could still help once a month. My sister continued doing the fortnightly babysitting.
My brother didn’t take this well. He said it was “pretty piss poor effort” and that I knew this was my responsibility. I told him I agreed to help when my situation was different and that I was still offering to help, just not as often.
He replied that if it wasn’t for my sister they’d be “completely fucked over” and that I couldn’t use holidays or events to get out of this. I told him the way he was speaking to me was part of why I didn’t want to keep committing, but that I was still willing to help once a month.
Part of why I reacted that way is because growing up I wasn’t treated very well by my brothers and there was physical fighting at times, so being spoken to like that as an adult just brought a lot of that back up for me.
He then said:
“If you don’t want a relationship with your nephew that’s cool. If you’re going to pick and choose when you want to be around, you can go do your own thing. You’re a professional victim. This isn’t about you. You’re delusional.”
After that (August 2025), I stopped speaking to him and his fiancé. Since then, I’ve left the family group chat due to feeling extremely uncomfortable in this and found out they’ve been talking about me behind my back, including saying no one would hire me and calling me “scat.” My mum has tried to talk to my brother about how I’ve been treated and cut out, but he and his fiancée don’t care and don’t want to resolve it.
I’ve been told I should apologise for backing out of the babysitting, but there’s been no apology for how I was spoken to or for the ongoing behaviour. I’m also not invited to another brother’s wedding because they don’t want me there.
AITAH for saying I couldn’t babysit every second Sunday anymore?
Edit: as people are asking, this was completely unpaid and we even had to provide our own food as we are there for 8 hours and it is a 40 minute drive each way.
