“AITA for not allowing my sister-in-law’s husband to stay in the bridal suite while we were getting ready?”
For my wedding day, we rented a hotel suite in the city. I paid for hair and makeup for all my bridesmaids, and as a courtesy I also paid for my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. I’m not close to my sister-in-law, but she’s very close to my husband, so I included her.
On the morning of the wedding, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law arrived late because my sister-in-law and her husband had been on a beach trip. When they arrived, my sister-in-law brought her husband into the suite with his clothes to get ready for the wedding later, which surprised me because she didn’t mention anything about bringing him with her.
All three of them sat on the couch, and her husband stayed there on his phone. I texted my husband asking if he was supposed to stay and get dressed there. He didn’t know either. I told him this was meant to be a women-only space, since all of us were wearing robes that open easily and our underwear was visible.
I asked my husband to tell his sister that her husband could wait in the hotel lobby, but she refused and was also against the idea of him driving back alone to our house to get ready with my husband and groomsmen cause she didn’t want to risk him getting lost since he’s from another country (he’s form Puerto Rico, were from the Dominican Republic and he has travelled around the DR many times on his own).
She got upset and tried to leave, but the hair and makeup artists convinced her to come back since it was already paid for. She got her hair and makeup done, and then all three of them left anyway and waited in the lobby.
They even ended up getting dressed in the lobby bathroom, even though my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were allowed to stay in the suite if they wanted to. My mother told me privately that she thought it was rude to bring a man into a room where only women were getting ready.
So, AITA for not allowing him to stay there? Was i being inflexible? She was clearly very upset about the whole thing and understand maybe she didn’t want to have him sit alone for hours in the lobby while we were getting ready but i didn’t know what else to do.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
SoImaRedditUserNow
Um no… NTA. Her husband is an adult, right? I think he can entertain himself for a few hours (bar, take a walk, uber to wherever your husband is). Plus, he’s from Puerto Rico, not Mars. I am reasonably sure he can function reasonably well in many many many many many places.
KhalCheeto (OP)
I forgot to add, my brothers and the maid of honors husband where also at the hotel lobby dropping some things off for us and offered to hang out with him and it seems like that wasn’t even an option for her idk why.
opine704
You know you’re NTA.. FFS. What kind of barn-raised clod thinks it’s ok for an uninvited person, much less a nearly random man, to be in the room where the ladies are getting dressed?
Get your head straight hon. This was the first skirmish for control. And they’ve already got you questioning if the service you paid for was exclusionary for kicking a DUDE out of the Women’t Changing Space!
pottersquash
NTA. She rather get dressed in lobby than let her adult husband go sit in the lobby????
This is very absurd.
BigMax
NTA, and anyone who disagrees is an absolute selfish moron. And that’s across ALL cultures too, so this isn’t a cultural thing. A bunch of women, getting ready, in states of undress, in their underwear, isn’t a place a man would be welcome in ANY circumstance, much less a man most of them barely know.
You were right to kick him out, and your sister in law should be horribly embarrassed for trying to get him to stay. It’s almost so obvious that he shouldn’t be there that you wonder if there was some ulterior motive? Did she WANT to make you uncomfortable? Did she WANT her husband to see other half-naked women? Why did she need him there instead of the lobby? There had to be a reason…
KhalCheeto (OP)
You want to know what makes this even more weird? A few hours after they left she asked my husband how much long we were going to take cause he needed to use the bathroom, theres bathrooms in the lobby but he specifically needed to use the one in the suite on the 22nd floor. What in the world 😅
moondream6
NTA, what the crap was she thinking having a man there where all those women were getting undressed and having their undergarments showing??? You’re 100% nta, but I can’t say the same for them! Yeah, I would have bridezillaed them there and then! You did what you could do, I’m proud of you.
Tricky-Temporary-777
NTA – First off they’re rude for showing up late because of a beach trip. It’s insane to think that her husband would be welcome around women who are getting ready and changing. They shouldn’t be attached at the hip like that, and to throw a tantrum because he couldn’t stay and leaving after was so childish.
That_Bee_Baker
NTA, he should have backed out immediately once the situation was clear, and the MiL and SiL should have told him to get out if he didn’t immediately read the room. Honestly, I think you were under reacting, reaching out to your now husband first and asking him what was up or to take a stand. You could have easily said, “Get out right now,” to your SiL’s husband and still be absolutely positively NTA.
KhalCheeto (OP)
There’s always something with his family, theyre easily offended so i decided to let him handle it instead of having to put up with them talking about how rude i was or whatever 😪
SafetyFluid8535
NTA its very strange to think a man is welcome in the bridal suite. I’ve even been in weddings where a man was one of the bridesmaids and he still got dressed with the groomsmen.
And your SIL is married, so she knows that people will be in their underwear and getting dressed out in the open, she was being really inconsiderate of every other woman in that space by dragging her husband in like he’s a 5 yr old that can’t use a public restroom alone.
