AITAH for not cosigning my boyfriend’s lawyer’s fees?
AITA for refusing to co-sign paperwork for my boyfriend’s bankruptcy lawyer?
I (24F) am still in school and work part-time. My boyfriend (23M) and I have been together for about a year.
Recently, he asked me if I would be willing to co-sign paperwork so his lawyer could initiate a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. At first, he told me there were no credit pulls and that I wouldn’t owe anything. I didn’t fully understand what I was being asked to sign, so I asked for a day to research and think about it.
After looking into it, I learned that while I wouldn’t be co-signing the bankruptcy itself, I would be legally guaranteeing his attorney’s fees (about $2,300). If he didn’t pay, I would be responsible. Because I’m still in school, don’t make much money, and felt uncomfortable signing something legally binding, I told him no.
He was very surprised that I didn’t say yes immediately. He said he thought I would say yes “for sure” and didn’t expect me to be so firm. We ended up arguing for a couple hours. He has a deadline with the lawyer, so he kept pushing, saying he didn’t feel like he could depend on me when he really needed someone. He said he didn’t want his family or brother to know because of the stigma around bankruptcy, and that I was the only person he trusted enough to ask.
He also told me that the way I said no bothered him more than the no itself. He said I’ve relied on him financially in the past, even when he didn’t have much, and implied that this should matter. He kept saying there was “no risk” and that he would never screw me over. He promised he would pay off all the lawyer fees and plans to save $10,000 after filing and be extremely frugal so he’s never in debt again.
During the argument, he also said he thinks he’s better with money than me (even though he’s currently filing bankruptcy), that I “don’t really get it,” and that after filing he doesn’t plan on spending money on me anymore because he wants to penny-pinch. At one point, he said maybe a different girlfriend would have signed for him.
I love him and genuinely want to help him, but I don’t think signing a legally binding document is “nothing,” especially at this stage of my life. I feel like I set a reasonable boundary, but now I’m questioning myself because he seems hurt and disappointed and keeps framing it as me not being dependable.
So… AITA for saying no and refusing to co-sign?
