My boyfriend told my pro choice mother i had an abortion and nowbmy life is ruined.
Hi. I’m posting here because the people in my life are split, and I need unbiased opinions. I’m 20 and my partner is 26. We’ve been together a little over two years and live together. Overall, our relationship has been stable and supportive or at least I thought so. Earlier this year, I had a medical procedure related to an unplanned pregnancy. My partner agreed with the decision completely. There was no pressure, no disagreement, and no uncertainty between us. A week later, I developed an infection and had to be admitted to the hospital for treatment and a minor procedure. I was alert, stable, and not in any life-threatening condition.
Here’s the issue: my family is extremely religious and openly hostile toward abortion. I am financially dependent on them right now, and I was very clear that they could not know about the pregnancy or the procedure. Hospital staff confirmed that my information would remain private. Because my family tracks my location and expects updates if I’m gone overnight, I asked my partner to let them know I was hospitalized for an infection. We went over exactly what he could say. Nurses even helped confirm wording that would raise no suspicion. The rule was simple: do not mention pregnancy or abortion.
While I was under anesthesia, my partner told my mother I had been pregnant. When I woke up, my family was already involved. My mother understandingly reacted badly left the hospital, accused me of hiding “the truth,” and later cut off financial support. My partner says he did the right thing. His reasoning is that my health comes first, that my family “deserved to know,” and that if something had gone wrong, it would have come out anyway. He insists that he would do it again.
I don’t think he was trying to hurt me. I do think he decided his judgment mattered more than my consent during a moment when I had no voice. Now I’m questioning whether I can trust someone who breaks clear boundaries and shares my medical information without permission, even if he believes it was justified.
Am i wrong for considering ending the relationship after my partner revealed my abortion to my family while I was unconscious even though he says he was “protecting” me?
