AITAH for wanting to end a relationship with my girlfriend?
I (25F) met my girlfriend on a dating app called Hinge in August last year.
We made it official on August 21, and from the beginning everything felt amazing.
We talked every single day, texting for hours, falling asleep on calls, FaceTiming whenever we could. It felt real. It felt deep. Fast forward to 2026, and we finally planned to meet in person for the first time.
She had been unemployed the entire time we were talking and I was still studying. I finished school, got an internship, and moved into my own place to be closer to work. I don’t make a lot of money but it was enough for me to afford something small and start building my life.
When I moved into my first apartment, I was so excited.
I sent her pictures and videos, thinking she’d be happy because now we could finally spend time together there.
Instead, she said she didn’t like it and that she couldn’t visit me because of the place. That hurt.
A month later, I moved again, this time to a more expensive apartment that stretched my budget, partly because I genuinely liked it but also because I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to come. She agreed. On January 9, we met for the first time, and since then we’ve basically been living together.
I love having her around… but things don’t feel right.
She’s extremely secretive. I don’t expect to know every detail of her life but if we’re dating and living together, I feel like I should at least know basic things like her family.
I’ve seen her nieces and nephew briefly on video calls and I’ve heard her talk to family members, but she refuses to show me any pictures of them.
She’s seen pictures of my family, knows my mom and sister’s numbers (I have used her phone to call them) but she refuses to share her mom’s or sister’s number with me. I don’t want to call them, I just feel like if we live together and something happens, I should have emergency contact information. She shuts that down completely.
On top of that, she panics if I even glance at her phone, even if I’m just in the phone settings. That level of secrecy makes me uneasy.
She constantly talks about her exes, how they had money, cars, nice things. I’m just an intern trying to build a career, no car, no big income. Sometimes it makes me feel like she’s comparing me to them, even though she says I’m just insecure when I bring it up. She’s also still friends with her exes. She doesn’t work, stays home all day (which I don’t mind) and while she helps financially(gets it from her mom) here and there, which I truly appreciate, she barely helps around the house.
I come home from work and still cook, clean, wash dishes, and handle everything most days. I don’t expect her to do it all but helping once or twice a week would mean a lot.
Here’s where it gets worse. She told me she’s 30. I’m 25. Recently, she went home for the weekend and I have a tablet which she uses to apply for jobs and other stuff. I looked through it, I know that’s wrong but I just wanted to understand her better. I found her ID in her documents. She’s not 30.
She’s 26. That shook me. If she lied about something as simple as her age, what else is she lying about? She already lies about small things sometimes. I don’t know what’s real anymore.
She came back two days later and I’ve been sitting on this information. I’m scared to confront her. I want to ask why she lied about her age. I want to ask why she hides her family. I want to understand why she dismisses my concerns and calls me insecure instead of reassuring me.
