I’m 35F, my husband is 37M. We live in a big city with our 6yo daughter. His parents live a few hours away in a smaller town and they come stay with us maybe 3–4 times a year. I do like them and we usually get along, but whenever they visit it feels like I’m some tour guide. But right now I’m second guessing how harsh I am.
This time my husband agreed to them staying without asking me. I already had plans, a pilates class Saturday morning that was non refundable and my daughter’s best friend’s birthday party in the afternoon. She’s missed so many parties lately because she keeps getting sick with this weather, so I really wanted her to go. I told my husband I wasn’t cancelling, but I’d help get the flat ready and spend Sunday with everyone.
They arrived Friday and asked what I was cooking for dinner.I was so done and had a horrible week at work and just got delivery. I am a good cook and I cook often so I think maybe here is my issue, I post my food often on my story and MIL always appreciates it and says make this for us next time we’re in town so I should’ve put in that effort.
Saturday I went to class, then the party. When I got back my MIL half-joked that I was busier than the head of UN . Later, when I showed pictures of her at the party with her super Cheshire Cat grin in this adorable dress, instead of appreciating it, she said, “She would’ve been happy at home too .”
I told her I was glad they were here, but I can’t cancel everything and I hope she gets it. I didn’t say it but it’s weird she doesn’t care that her granddaughter has a hard time at school because she’s sick so often and doesn’t get to make friends. This was her one best friend and she had fun?? How can she be against it. She didn’t push it, but the vibe after was definitely full of side glances.
After they left, my husband told me he got where I was coming from but also said, “They don’t really care about the restaurants or sightseeing, they just want time with you and her. And they barely come over so they miss us” Which made me feel so horrible because they do give us gifts everytime they come but sometimes I just think that I did spend time and I do call so idk at this point
