AITA because I don’t want to contribute to my sister’s college tuition after my parents gave me the whole college fund?
I’m 33F and have a twin sister, Kayla. Growing up, my parents saved a college fund for us. Kayla never cared about school; her passion was cheerleading.
We were never close. In high school, she and her cheerleader friends bullied me and my best friend for being “nerds” since we were academically inclined and not “cool.”
As an adult, I tolerate her for peace, but we’re not friends. We barely talk, and I doubt we’ll stay in contact after our parents die.
After high school, Kayla took a gap year and never went back to college. She traveled and ran a moderately successful travel Instagram. I earned a scholarship to a Public Ivy, worked for 18 months, then applied and was accepted to law school at my dream school in my dream city.
At this point I was 25. The college fund was untouched because of my full-ride scholarship and Kayla never starting college.
There was enough in the fund to cover my law school. My parents asked Kayla if she planned to attend college. She said no, since she could get paid to travel. My parents told her the money would go to me because cashing it out would trigger huge taxes. She said, “ok, whatever,” according to our dad.
Fast forward a few years. Kayla’s social media success has slowed, she hasn’t enjoyed jobs she can get without a degree, and now she wants to study marketing.
My parents are retired and cannot pay for her tuition.
Now Kayla says that since I’m a lawyer and got the whole college fund, I should pay for her education. I don’t want to. I only went to my dream school because my parents could cover it.
Otherwise, I would have picked a cheaper option. Asking me to pay now feels like changing the rules years later when it’s too late to change my decision.
She kept saying “we’re sisters,” and I reminded her she should have thought about that when she bullied me in high school. She called me bitter.
I said actions have consequences and she isn’t entitled to my forgiveness. We were never close, and it’s unfair to demand closeness now, especially when it would require me to sacrifice a large portion of my income. I work a passion law job without loans rather than chasing Big Law money, so funding her degree would hit my lifestyle.
I don’t want to give up my travel and concert plans to do a favor for a sister who has never acted like one.
My dad agrees it’s unfair to expect me to pay since I went to the dream school on the understanding I wouldn’t owe money on my degree. My mom said it would be “nice” of me to help Kayla, but she won’t force or pressure me.
