“AITA for not telling my sister that my baby’s ‘name’ was always just a joke?”

My wife has recently given birth to my first child, but it is her fourth. With her first pregnancy, her family were very critical of the baby names she liked, so she started giving her children ridiculous fake names, defending them furiously, and then (to everyone’s relief) changing her mind at the last minute and naming them something normal. I thought this was hilarious, and thus we named our baby girl Thermodecline.

The joke fell kind of flat, though. My parents were too polite to say anything, and my wife’s family had already caught on and took no notice. We kept using the name as an inside joke regardless because it had grown on us. Not long after we revealed the baby’s sex and “name”, my sister revealed that she was MTF and would be transitioning soon.

Fast forward to now: my wife is out of the hospital, and we’ve brought Susan home, and my family came to visit that week. My parents were visibly relieved and gushed over the new baby and her “new” name.

My sister, on the other hand, pulled me aside and asked why we changed it. I explained the whole joke and that it was never a sincere choice, and she got very agitated. Apparently, she had adopted the name Susan for herself.

She said that she had started using the name with friends and in her daily life outside the family, and now everybody will think she stole the name, like all those 100% real stories about transitioning people stealing names on AITA, and now she will have to choose another name.

I said I couldn’t have her change her name because our friends would think I’m one of those AH who named the baby Susan to prevent my sister from getting the name after transitioning. My wife overheard us and now thinks the best solution is to name both the baby and my sister Thermodecline, just to be sure.

The baby then started crying, saying that all the cool kids in the nursery had their names stolen by a relative and that she was going to get bullied at school for not having a name good enough to get stolen and has gone NC with us.

Our parents decided to stay out of it by calling my daughter “The Baby”, my sister “The Auntie”, and me “The AH”.

So, I ask, AITA?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Whisperlee

NAH. Your baby and sister both have valid points. I suggest they split the names, so Sudecline and Thermosan.

prison-schism

But the baby already went no contact, she might not ever listen to anything her parents have to say again. YTA OP, you should have named your baby whatever the baby requested while still in the womb and you should have read your sister’s mind and realized she meant to take the name Susan for herself.

jennaclmnt

Before giving up the name”Susan”, I feel that a vote should be taken. Which version of “Susan” is the sibling planning to be? Dark haired and mysterious? Blonde? Redhead with anger issues? I feel this needs to be discussed. Don’t hand over “Susan” to just anyone.

prettykittychat

Soft YTA. Your sister believed the joke was real, and you should have asked her what she chose for a name. It’s not like the joke was super obvious either. There are at least 3 kids named Thermodeclne in my kid’s preschool class.

A solution would be to add “eigh” or “leigh” to the end of your daughter’s name. -Like Susaneigh or Susanleigh. Then you can call her Susan for short.

outofthedark24

Love it. We named ours fencepost. Our relatives were exasperated with us. We never shared gender and absolutely never discussed potential names. He was sick of his parents pestering so he finally said fencepost! The name is fence. Middle name post. Don’t worry about your brother. He’ll get over it. B

leannesmiles

They can both be Susan, I don’t see the problem. My grandfather and brother have the same name, my aunt and niece have the same name. What’s the problem, they don’t see eachother everyday. And, baby can be named after sister, I think it’s a very lovely coincidence and your sister should feel proud to be named after.

Several-Ask3478

My father,my eldest brother ,nephew and first cousin all had the same name and the same surname. My sister and our niece have the same name also same surname. My niece would be in her 50s but if we are speaking about her we call her little m.