AITAH for “choosing” my mom with cancer over my girlfriend on Valentine’s Day and breaking up with her after our argument?
I need outside opinions because this situation has been weighing on me and I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over it.
For context, I work two jobs, and my schedule is extremely demanding. On Valentine’s Day, I worked from 12:00 AM – 8:00 AM at my first job. Then I went straight to my second job from 9:00 AM – 9:00 PM. By the time I finished, I had already worked 20 hours straight which I don’t usually complain about.
Instead of going home, I went to the hospital to visit my mom for about an hour. She has cancer and is currently hospitalized. She doesn’t really have anyone else there for her consistently, and I didn’t want her to be alone, especially on a holiday. I knew it meant a lot to her just to have someone show up.
My girlfriend lives about two hours away from me, and she wanted to spend Valentine’s Day together in person. I had told her my schedule beforehand and that I planned on visiting my mom that day. After I left the hospital, I told my girlfriend I was still willing to drive to see her around midnight, even after working all day and visiting my mom.
She told me that it wouldn’t matter because it wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day anymore. She said she felt like I wasn’t prioritizing her and that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about your partner. From her point of view, she only wanted one day to feel special and chosen, and she felt like I chose someone else over her.
From my perspective, I felt like I was doing everything I possibly could. I worked 20 hours, visited my mom who is fighting cancer and alone in a hospital, and still offered to drive two hours at midnight just to see my girlfriend. I wasn’t trying to ignore her or make her feel unimportant, but I also couldn’t bring myself to skip visiting my mom, knowing what she’s going through.
The argument escalated, and she continued to say that I didn’t prioritize her. That’s when I realized our priorities didn’t align. I told her that my mom is fighting cancer and that being there for her is something I will never regret choosing. I ultimately decided to break up with her after that argument because I didn’t feel right being with someone who couldn’t understand why I needed to be there for my mom.
She thinks I was wrong and that I should have prioritized our relationship on Valentine’s Day. I believe I made the right decision by staying with my mom and ending the relationship.
So AITA for choosing to stay with my mom in the hospital on Valentine’s Day and breaking up with my girlfriend because of it?
