AITAH for calling my Father’s girlfriend’s daughter to warn her about him?
I am 44, the youngest of 5 children who, growing up, witnessed violence perpetrated on my mother by my father.
My relationship w him has been very tumultuous, going years with out speaking. Through years of therapy, I have worked through the loss and do not feel a void.
My dad has been married and divorced 4 times. He has been w this woman (Jane)for maybe 10 ish yrs. Each marriage has been a disaster and he has financially exploited all of them. His last wife, he moved to another state far away from us about 20 years ago bc when her parents passed away she got a ton of money. He used her for her money then divorced her and met his current girlfriend (Jane) who seems like a nice but naive person, exactly his type. While they were together, her parents died bery close to one another and she received a large inheritance. Due to her family being afraid that she would be taken advantage of, she gets her money in increments.
Due to aging, his failing health, and a very big scare that he would not live long (this has since been taken care of) and Jane’s recent diagnosis of dementia, my siblings have decided to move him back up here and provide his care. Side note** Bc I have been through therapy and have strong boundaries and not worried about discussing tough subjects, I am the black sheep bc they cannot handle tough conversations and would rather stuff their emotions down**
I have reconnected w him to smooth things over for his arrival but I am not happy about this and am not offering to help care for him. I’ll visit briefly but knowing my placement of strong boundaries and his personality I don’t know how long we will be cordial.
During a recent group text My dad brought up marriage and if we thought he should marry Jane. None of us thinks he should marry her but my sister said “well then Jane’s daughter won’t have any say about her move” I asked about this and there was mention of Jane’s daughter not being happy about her possibly moving to our state. This did not settle well w me and I expressed that her family has the right to be a part of this just like we are and it is disrespectful and deceitful. Not to mention we all know that he just wants her money **I didn’t say that part**
I decided to find her daughter on social media, which I did, and reached out to her. We spoke several times and I gave her alllllllll the dirty details, everything. I even sent her his arrest and court docs. I promised to be her insider and share everything I find out. She had no idea about his marriages and shared w me that he has been “investing” her money. Jane gets 12000 every three months of her Inheritance. There is no money in savings and only a little in the investment, so they have spent it all.
She was very thankful and said this confirmed what she was thinking.
Ever since I spoke w her my dad has backed off (No one knows I reached out to the daughter) and now Jane is moving to a different state to live with her daughter and my dad is coming to our state, they are essentially breaking up..
AITAH for calling Jane’s daughter and telling her all the things about my dad and providing court docs and arrest information?
