AITAH for telling the girl I’m in love with to stop hanging with my best friend’s homophobic ex after he made the move before me?
Sorry for the long title, I just really need advice on this and I thought it was the most eye catching one.
For about a year now, I’ve fallen more and more in love with a girl I have MANY mutual friends with. Let’s call her Amelia. When I first met her, I fell in love instantly. She’s very cute and over time I found out we have many mutual friends and I’ve slowly gotten closer to her over the year, and I’ve been telling our friends how I feel about her. They all think we’d be a great couple. I was going to make the move the same day someone else did, and I was furious at myself that I didn’t do it sooner.
It was bugging me that I didn’t know who it was all day, so I asked someone who knew and I found out it was my best friend’s ex-boyfriend who we’ll call Barry. Barry had just broken up with my best friend (who I’ll call Jackie) after he said disgusting things about the LGBTQ+ community and other bigoted things out of no-where. He didn’t act like this at all for their whole relationship, and he was dead serious, not a joke at all. Thankfully, Jackie does not tolerate any of that, so she dumped him on the spot after they’ve dated for nearly a year and a half.
Both Amelia and Barry go to the same church and bible club, and I guess that’s where he made the move before I could. I told Jackie what happened, and she was pretty surprised he moved on so quickly and felt sorry for me. After a week, Amelia told me she didn’t want to be more than friends with him, which is great, but I still worry for her since she doesn’t know the true Barry. I’ve also spoken to his OTHER ex-girlfriend, who is also my friend, and he seems like a worse partner than he is a sperate person. There were rumors about him SA-ing her, but they turned out to be fake. Before Jackie dumped him, he said he worked on himself and changed, but that turned out to be a lie. I blindly trusted him to have actually changed as a human, witch extra hurts as a person who is big on second chances and change.
AITAH if I tell her to stop being friends with Barry? What do I do? I’m worried I might ruin our relationship by telling her to stop hanging out with someone so close to her. Also, thanks for reading this whole thing, dumping this anonymously has eased the weight off my shoulders a bit.
