My ghoster came crawling back, so I gave him a taste of his own medicine
I was fresh out of a relationship and was really hurt so I went to dating apps looking for a hookup to get my mind off things (not healthy and do not recommend).
I matched with this one guy and we hit it off instantly. I was honest with him about my situation and he was really understanding. He said all the right things: how he was going to be a good bounce back from my last relationship and how he even wants something more than a hookup since we get along really well.
We were talking everyday for about a week and at the week’s end, we hooked up. The day after, everything was still going normally but after that, he stopped responding to my messages and would leave me on read. I would see when he comes online too so it made me feel disrespected.
I sent him one message saying if he was ghosting me he should just unmatch. The next time I came to the app, he was not there anymore.
I was so sad after this, it reopened so many wounds and had the adverse effect and made me think about my ex more and how I would never find a guy like my ex.
Anyways about 3 weeks later, I see a certain like from the same dude but on a different app (I actually saw him on another dating site as well a week after and I sent a like because I was desperate and confused but he didn’t send one back even though he viewed my profile).
At this time, I was healed up a little and no longer as desperate, so I wanted to play with him a little, and I liked him back. He immediately messaged back saying he was really sorry blah blah blah (I know he was horny again and thought I was easy).
Anyways, we start talking again, more deeply than before. I told him he would have to win my trust back. He agreed. After about a week he would always turn the conversation sexual so I knew he was full of it and he would ghost me again if we slept together.
I decided to ‘give in’ and tell him to come over on Saturday. This was during heaviest snow day and it was really cold outside. I told him to come to my apartment building at 1am because I don’t want my roommates to be awake.
The day and time comes and he texts me that he’s here. After about 5 minutes, he texts again. After another 5, he texts again. I keep on leaving him on read since the app lets you know when someone has read your message. He tries calling on the app but I ignore him. I see him typing and I immediately unmatch. After about 30 minutes, I look through my window and see him practically running away since it was so cold outside. I made him come at 1am because I knew no one would be coming into the apartment then to let him in.
He probably doesn’t care, and was using me anyways, but I’m happy I stood up for myself even just a little bit
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
_allycat wrote:
As much as I enjoy the revenge, I’d be freaked out to do that when he knows where I live.
OP responded:
Thankfully we need card access for doors, elevator, suite and room 🤞
Minflick wrote:
It’s SUCH a thing for men to chase you until you have s** with them, and then vanish. Disgusting. I know women can do it too, but MY experience with that has been with men. People like that are pigs.
ElephantNamedColumbo wrote:
Good job, OP! I’m sure if he had been honest from the beginning…telling you that he only wanted a very temporary thing- instead of leading you on that he wanted something more. You would have just accepted & been temporarily happy & moved on to others for more companionship.
-Instead of making you feel there that was something special & deeper between you two! I’m sure going forward- you’ll tread cautiously.
Wishing you happiness & much healing! 🫶🏽💔❤️🩹💜✨🕊️
OP responded:
Exactly, I was also looking for a hookup too in the beginning, he really didn’t have to do all that lol
Thanks!
anonops555 wrote:
I had this same sort of thing happen, except he didn’t ghost me, he strung me along for months with a bunch of BS about feeling s**t he didn’t really feel to get me on the hook and get me to stop seeing other people, even had me living with him -all while he had a “weekend girlfriend” and who knows how many other here and there flings.
When we hooked up, I was just getting out of a long-term emotionally abusive relationship and was very vulnerable and he zeroed in on that and knew all the right things to say. I put up with it for 6 months, thinking (hoping) things would change because he would always imply they would, but it never did.
Then an old friend that I’d had a crush on since 8th grade came back to town and we started hanging out…long story short he stole me from that AH without much effort and has spent every day since showing me exactly how I should’ve been treated all along.
I have a horrible track record with relationships and I have no idea how I got so lucky but I definitely did. Point is: just because it started out as a hookup, once the other person starts talking relationship and gets you to let your guard down and start thinking along those lines, for them to turn around and ghost is 100% messed up and unacceptable.
He initiated the “something more” talk, and was clearly only doing so because he’s a manipulative, selfish douchebag who was saying whatever he needed to say to get laid. stop defending him, unless you’re also a manipulative, selfish douchebag. In which case, carry on so that way, we can all easily identify you as such.
Invadervil wrote:
Jeezus. Have some self-respect. If a guy uses you, for the love of god, block him on everything immediately and move on. This is just sad and embarrassing for you.
cmbdragon8 wrote:
That’s the trouble with dating apps, unfortunately.
They’re full of people who strictly want quick hookups, but they refuse to come clean and just say that, they think they need to play 4D Mind Chess with you. If we’re lucky, this guy thinks twice before blowing hot air up some other girl’s a**, lmao
