“AITA for allowing my husband’s mistress to meal prep for him and the kids?”

My husband has been cheating on me for years with different women due to this I’ve completely shut off from him. We don’t have a physical relationship but we do an amazing job at being parents. Our kids love us and that’s all that matter in the grand scheme of things. I am not dating anyone, this isn’t an open relationship. Every time he cheats he acts more remorseful but I’ve come to terms that I can’t save him.

He’s seeing this woman Cherry and she’s a cook and baker. We were in a little tussle once but that’s is in the past. I’ve moved on. I don’t like her but I don’t hate her. Few weeks back I caught him eating in his car and realized it was from her, the packaging gave him away.

She has been sending him goodie bags and now full meals. I told him going forward I’m no longer cooking for him and he needs to let her do everything including meals for the kids. I really put my foot down and did some petty things that I’m not proud of but it worked.

I told him if she loves him she will do it but I’m done. Well I don’t know what he did to convince her but at least 3 times a week they get meals from Cherry. He brings the container and plates the food, the kids are happy because they think they are getting take out. I don’t partake. On the other days I cook for just the kids and myself.

My husband on the other hand got mad and said I manipulated him into taking advantage of Cherry and kept asking me what do I get out of these mind games. I told my best friend about the whole ordeal and she’s upset with me saying that what if Cherry puts something in the kids meal. I don’t think she would do that. AITAH for letting this happen?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

BulkyDrawing4785 said:

Mistress wanted to be a sister wife. She got assigned sister wife duties. Lmao

I don’t really know how I feel about trusting a mistress on feeding my kids though.

OP responded:

She’s a professional mistress. She’ll move on from him soon.

ParkerGroove said:

This is the weirdest post I’ve seen yet.

bucketsofpoo said:

just divorce already and go get a new life..

deathmetal81 said:

If you didn’t have kids I would say NTA. But because you have kids, YAA although not the biggest one (that s your husband).

Kids may listen to us parents, but they watch what we do way more. They mimic us more than they listen to us. I wouldn’t let another person have responsibility for feeding my kids. You may totally set a boundary that your husband isn’t allowed in the house with another persons food and has to eat alone in his car.

HoshiJones said:

YTA for staying in this toxic marriage. The example you’re setting for your kids is abominable.

And HarveySnake said:

ESH, Your husband sucks for cheating. His mistress sucks for knowingly screwing a cheating POS. You suck too for being a doormat, you have enabled a cheating POS and taught your kids the wrong life lessons when it comes to self respect (you have none) and expectations on fidelity in relationships (its OK to cheat just like daddy does. It’s OK to be a doormat with zero self respect, just like mommy is).

Ten months later, she dropped this update:

It’s been 10 months or so since I’ve last posted and a lot has changed. I’m here to tell you that I am getting a divorce and starting the moving on process. After posting on Reddit I received a lot of backlash and dm’s that were a bit overboard. However, there were some that made me see life in a different perspective and I realized being petty doesn’t serve me nor my kids.

A month after my OG post I stopped the kids from eating cherry’s meals, it was childish to drag my kids into that mess, I’m just grateful they are small enough and don’t understand what’s happening with their parents. I let her cook for him and take care of his laundry.

There is no way I’m slaving over a man who hates me. My job is to take care of my kids not a grown adult who cannot respect his wife. I’m no longer cook, therapist, financial planner, assistant and maid. Just mother of his children and soon to be ex wife.

Well to rip the bandaid off I cheated back and it didn’t go as planned. The petty spirit in me did it in the worst way possible. I invited a gentleman over when I knew my husband would be coming in and he saw and heard everything. He caught me in the act to keep it real with you all. I’m lucky to say that it could’ve went way worse than it did but I don’t feel guilty just indifferent.

I can say he isn’t taking it well and before bed he bawled his eyes out and vented for what felt like a millennium. I am the scum, I am the traitor. It’s funny not in a hysterical way but I’ve been crying for YEARS and he’s only cried once. It’s almost as if he forgot he was the cheater who caused all of this.

I’m don’t know how to explain but I don’t regret cheating back. It made me feel empowered, I felt satisfaction watching him breakdown because that used to be me.

The morning afterwards he woke up begging to reconcile but this taught me I NEEDED to divorce. He’s being extra nice but nice isn’t good enough, it’s the bare minimum. I had to pause when writing because he called to check up on me at work. He never does this. Not to mention lunch drop offs and little gifts. I’m not buying it.