AITA for not siding a friend for treating restaurant staff rudely when they served her a cocktail instead of a mocktail she ordered
TLDR
A restaurant incorrectly served my friend a cocktail instead of a mocktail which caused her to get an itch & then got understandably upset & rudely made the staff apologize. While I agree the restaurant made a serious mistake, I found her behaviour uncalled for. She then said she is no longer comfortable with going out with me because my disagreement to her reaction was alarming to her as she said could have landed in a serious situation.
Story
Friend & I met for dinner & she ordered a mocktail. She later complained she tasted alcohol & started feeling itchy. (She can drink but sometimes might experience a rash if she’s had too much). A waitress suggested it might be non alcoholic substitutes mimicking the flavour & promised to check but due to how busy the restaurant was, she forgot to come back. When the bill came, we saw a cocktail charge & that’s when we realized that my friend was indeed served a cocktail instead of a mocktail. The waitress apologized profusely for the mistake & adjusted the bill immediately, admitting she accidentally gaslighted my friend earlier & my friend got visibly angry.
When the waiter who took her mocktail order came to clear plates, she took the opportunity to confront him. As he was caught off guard, he gave a dismissive “Oh, ok,” which made her angrier. When the waitress returned, my friend vented again in a “talk down” tone, reminding her of the “gaslighting” earlier. The waitress’s tone shifted from bubbly to sounding like she was about to cry while she listed out the mistakes on her part & apologized on behalf of her coworker as well.
My friend then demanded the original waiter return to apologize personally & he did so visibly shaken & scared. The restaurant manager stepped in as well, but my friend remained rude & demanding when asking for the APV just in case she needed to see a doctor later & her tone was all like “Just give me a number, I need to know a number.”
FYI, 10 minutes after we left the restaurant, her itch went away.
The manager later texted me to offer a full refund and my friend wanted me to send a collective “we” feedback, harping about how serious the mistake was, about the itch, the poor service recovery & the lack of concrete action & goodwill.
I personally can empathize that restaurant staff are human & oversight happens & I also do not condone the way she spoke to the staff as she was very rude, so I told her she could share the feedback directly herself. I also emphasized to her that I agreed it was a grave mistake on the restaurant’s end, but felt her reaction toward the staff who were clearly shaken was out of line.
She doubled down, citing a friend’s experience with peanut allergy to justify her behaviour. Later on, she said that she no longer feels comfortable going out with me because she found it alarming that I thought she overreacted as she could have landed in a more serious condition.
