Am I an asshole for using a realtor friend instead of a home appraiser.
My mom (81) was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease 6 years ago. She was living at home without caregivers at this point, unknowing how much caregivers cost. She asked me what I thought about her selling the house to her grandson. I suggested we look at the numbers and wait before telling him anything. If my mom had to go in an home, I want the 5 star facility. Enter her grandson five minutes later and she asks him if he wants the house. I did tell him we do need to look at numbers because Mom is aging with a progressive disease.
A few months later she moved out of her house and was alternately living between my brother and me. While grandson moved into her place. The agreement was they pay the taxes, utilities and if anything breaks. No extra rent, keep in mind, she now pays for caregivers. When going to sell, they would pay what the house appraises for.
They wanted to paint and refinish floors before they moved in. Mom said wait till you buy it. So, they went a head and did as they pleased anyway. I suggested an estate sale to sell her things she wouldn’t be keeping. My brother said you won’t make money. Yet he’s never had an estate sale, my husband and I have and made a good profit. So he sold all her furniture and made 2,000. A 3 bedroom house with new furniture. The rest was donated.
I have a friend who is a realtor that appraised the house for family price and not family price. He pulled all the comps in the area that are on the market and ones that recently sold, knowing he will not be making any money off of this. I was trying to save mom the $500 cost. I asked my brother about using him and he said “ok”. Knowing what I know now we should have paid for the appraiser, but the price would not have been much different. House next door only update was finished floors and sold for over $400K. Mom had a house fire so kitchen, and baths were all redone, and added an island. While her house layout is a dime a dozen, the island was possible because of the fire.
For some reason the kids thought they were going to buy the house for the zestimet amount of 365,000 and wanted a 25,000 credit for painting and refinishing floors. Mom told them to get an appraisal done and we would take it from there, but they never did. Because she wouldn’t budge on the price both grandson and my brother disowned her. They claim I want to put her in a home and take all her money. I have always been my mom’s advocate, to be called a thief by my family really hurt.
Am I the AH?
