AITAH for turning my back on my siblings because they were pressuring me to support our mother and saying I never did anything to help?

AITAH for turning my back on my siblings because they were pressuring me to support our mother and saying I never did anything to help?

TW Abuse

I (25m) have three younger siblings (21, 20 and 18). We all have different fathers as far as I know but I 100% have a different father than my siblings. I know who my father is and I know he has other children and he’s married and settled. There will never be a relationship there. My siblings and I grew up together with mom and she awful.

My mother was never a kind mother or even person. She was always quick to anger and took her problems out on the world. The smallest thing would make her nasty to others, including her kids. When she was pregnant with my youngest sibling she got into a relationship with this guy (not youngest sibs father) and he was not the kind of person who should have been around kids. He was a raging alcoholic who dabbled in drugs and he was someone who wanted to be naked when he was inside a house, whether that be his own or the person he was dating. He touched himself in front of me and my siblings and he would threaten me with harm to myself or my siblings if we annoyed him. While they were together my mother started drinking heavily and she became more abusive and neglectful.

This left me responsible for my siblings. I had to take food out of trash cans for me and my siblings. There were times I stole from other places to get food we needed. I was always honest with my siblings that I got food for us, I found new (technically old stuff that was dumped) clothes for them to wear and that they should never trust anything mom or her boyfriends gave us. There were other boyfriends and all of them were bad news. She was on and off with the guy who started the drinking problem though. He’d come back around after they broke up and they’d get back together for a while.

My siblings saw a lot and they knew I did my best to keep all of us safe. I couldn’t hide everything from them and I was always honest where I could be. I didn’t want them to idolize our mother and trust her. They needed to be aware she would gladly let one of her boyfriends abuse us if he wanted. She attempted that with me twice and my siblings saw. I even told them they needed to stay in our room if anything went wrong.

School, cps and nobody in the neighborhood ever helped us. We were on our own and I tried to take care of my siblings. Once I was 18 I found a small place and we lived together (unofficially because I knew CPS would never give me legal custody). I found a way for them to speak to a therapist through a charity. I did all I could think of to help them work through all that shit. And right now I feel fucking betrayed.

My siblings decided to allow our mother to have contact with them again. She told them she’s sober and wants a relationship with us. But she also talked about being homeless and how she lost everything and can’t afford food or any kind of help. My siblings wanted us to help her and they wanted me to agree to meet her too. When I said no they tried to pressure and guilt trip me (do it for us! if you loved us you’d do it!) and then they decided to turn on me and say I never did anything to help. They said I just let her be an alcoholic and never wanted to help anyone. They told me I owed them all so much better.

The argument reminded me so much of our mother. I was angry but also really fucking hurt. I brought up all the stuff I did for them but it wasn’t good enough in their eyes because I never helped our mother. They told me I wished her dead and they always knew I felt that way even if I never said it. They said I wanted them to lose their mother and have nothing and nobody who loved and took care of them. After everything I did it gutted me and I saw my mother in all three of them. So I told them to get the fuck out of my life and let her destroy them and then carry on the cycle if that’s what they wanted to do. But I was done with them and I walked away and I muted them on my phone. The texts I have looked at from them were all calling me an AH for walking away from them and saying they knew I would always be selfish.

AITAH?