AITAH for blocking my (step) sister for not being invited to her wedding?
I, 23f, was born by my mother and father. They had 3 kids. Older brother and younger brother. My dad and mom got divorced and he married my stepmom who had a daughter already with her previous marriage. And then had a son together. For a clearer picture it looks like this.
Male full blood 26
Female step sister 25
Me 23
Male full blood 16
Male half blood 14
I am the middle out of five. My dad and mom separated when I was about 4 and my mom left us when I was about 7 (my brothers were 1 and 10). Before my dad married my step mom, he would schedule play dates between me and my sister to which we became best friends and estatic when they told us they were getting married that we would be sisters. I have NEVER said my sister was my step sister so I will refer that way the rest of this post.
My sister was an only child before our parents met. She was EXTREMELY spoiled. She collected all the toys from American Girl dolls to Monster High to Littlest Pet shops. If I had something she wanted she would get it but I wasn’t allowed to have anything she had, which in hindsight is unfair but I was very blind to it. So I always had one to her twenty or more. She definitely preferred it this way but I was a kid so I didn’t care and never was jealous. The court took my brothers and I away from my mom for abuse and neglect so I was happy to have anything.
Throughout the years we did everything together, even her custody with her father. I would have many sleepovers at her father’s house when she was over there for custody and go on vacations with his grandma. But the older we got we started to separate. She became very popular in school in that mean girl cheerleader way and I was an extreme people pleaser (still am) and I had friends in every group. So a different kind of popular. My sister and I still hung out after school and she opened up to me about everything. But when I shared personal things with her she made fun of me or mocked me. I won’t go to details because I’m sure this post will be long as it is but one incident she went and told a bunch of people at school and I got made fun of by a lot of people. Again though, I never thought too much about it, I was aware but I didn’t care because I idolized my sister so much.
Some backstory into our family. My dad and step mom were very strict. Like ridiculously. But my sister didn’t really have to follow the rules as much as the rest of us did. Because she had no rules at her dads, her rules were a lot less strict with my stepmoms fear of her living full time at her dads. My brother and I had to ride the bus, she was driven to school every day. We’re weren’t allowed to have electronics in our room, she slept with hers. We had to make a plate and eat at the table, she could take her food upstairs or get something else if she didn’t like it. She could wear whatever clothes she wanted while I was forced to wear baggy clothes that covered my butt even with wearing pants. I would mention the unfairness but it again didn’t bother me as much because I idolized her.
Well about the age she was 15 and I was 13 (I think), something happened one night that I’m still not 100% of today. My sister would sleep naked or almost close to it and I think my older brother snuck in there to look under her covers. My brother still denies it to this day but from that night forward it destroyed our family. My brother went to a boarding school the next day and my sister went to live with her dad full time and I never really saw them again. My brother was a troublemaker and I guess they didn’t want me turning out like he did so they were more strict on me from then on. I 100% lived Cinderella. I did all the chores, had no contact with the outside world (no phone and no electronics), could not hang out with people after school, and was constantly bullied by my stepmom. My sisters room was locked and stayed the exact same until we moved out. I would sneak in there and wear her clothes a lot. My parents wouldn’t buy me new clothes so I wore her hand me downs, but I was a stick and she was a little bigger than I was so I chose instead to wear her clothes. For example, her size 13 clothes fit her at 13 but didn’t fit me until I was 16 and I didn’t want to wear Justice clothes in high school. She found out that I started wearing her clothes when she saw me at school wearing one of her shirts and told her mom. I got into a lot of trouble but to this day, she never went back to get those clothes. They’re still in a tuber wear in their basement. I know she was mad at me for wearing her clothes and I think her mom thinks that I’m part of the reason why she wouldn’t ever come back home. We moved houses and I moved schools so I never really saw her again after that. She never came to any events even when my brother wasn’t going to be there. I think she blames what happened as a reason for not being around at all but I think she’s just selfish. It happened almost 10 years ago but she still doesn’t see my younger brothers or her mom.
When I turned 15 I got a job and worked extra shifts to avoid being home. I wasn’t allowed a license so I walked to each job sometimes at 11 at night. I eventually became extremely depressed when I wasn’t working or at school, and coming home for breaks and weekends meant being around my family. I started taking on a hurtful way of dealing with my stress that I used until I was 20. I moved out at 18 and moved to another state and after 2 years I found a meaning to my life. My sister and I exchange texts for holidays and her birthday. She texts me for my birthday too but sometimes a couple days late. We catch up and talk about what’s going on with her life and she always ends up leaving me on read. Her birthday is in July and mines in April. Everytime we text she apologizes for leaving me on read and we pick back off just to get left on read again. About a year ago (2024), she announced to be engaged. I liked all her posts on Instagram so I was so happy for her.
Fast forward, I end up forgetting about it but she posted something on her story saying 2 months til the wedding. I immediately scrolled through all of her posts, my dms, and checked my mailbox to see if I had received an invite. I was confused but still hopefully to receive one. I know we weren’t close but I was her sister. We had no bad blood. I decided I was going to give it one month (never been to a planned wedding before only shotgun weddings) because I thought a month before the wedding was the smallest amount of time someone could give someone a notice to be invited. I set a reminder in my phone. My birthday passed around and she didn’t send me a text.
When that reminder went off on my phone a month later, my heart sank. I checked my mailbox one last time and cried like an idiot just staring at my mailbox full of spam and bills. I checked her Instagram to see another post that said, one month left til I’m with my forever person.
I debated sending her a text but I figured she would have reached out if she wanted me there. So I blocked her, on everything. Her wedding came around and you’ll never believe who was there. Both my younger brothers were her groomsmen and my step cousins (17 and 15) were her bridesmaids. I saw the photos on my stepmoms Facebook. I understand not being her maid of honor, maybe if we were still close but we weren’t. Maybe even not her bridesmaid… but not even a guest at her wedding??! And from the photos it didn’t look small.
So Reddit, my question is… am I the ahole for just blocking her? Should I had tried to let her explain or have sent her a text?
