AITA so I’m having a hard time getting a job and my family members are blaming my piercings

AITA so I’m having a hard time getting a job and my family members are blaming my piercings
I don’t have nothing crazy just 2 on each ear and my eyebrow and that’s all, and my cousin presses me about it all the time, saying that I “NEED” to take them out an get rid of them. Tonight she was arguing with me about it saying that in “secret” her mother is pissed I won’t get rid of them.
Idk what to do I have told them that they hold sentimental value to me not it just being the loads of money I’ve spent on it but that before I moved almst 8,000 miles away from home and my close family I got them with my mother that I won’t see for a year or two. But that dosent matter ig bc I’m just crazy

Family Blames My Piercings for My Unemployment

A woman struggling to find a job says her family is blaming her piercings while ignoring their emotional and sentimental value.

A young woman struggling to find a job says her family keeps blaming her piercings—completely ignoring why they mean so much to her.

Let’s break it down

The backstory and early dynamics

The poster explains that she’s been having a hard time getting hired.
She doesn’t have extreme body modifications—just two piercings in each ear and one eyebrow piercing.

Still, her cousin constantly pressures her to remove them, insisting they’re the reason employers won’t take her seriously.

The moment things shifted

What started as repeated comments turned into something more hurtful.
Her cousin told her that, behind the scenes, her mother was also upset that she refused to take the piercings out.

That revelation made the criticism feel less like advice—and more like judgment.

The final confrontation

The poster finally explained why the piercings matter to her.
They’re not just accessories or money spent.

She got them with her mom, shortly before moving nearly 8,000 miles away from home—a meaningful moment tied to a long and painful separation that could last years.

Instead of acknowledging that emotional connection, her family dismissed her explanation and minimized her feelings.

The fallout

Being brushed off during an already stressful job search left her feeling isolated and unheard.
Rather than offering support, her family focused on controlling her appearance and framing it as the problem.

Now she’s questioning herself—wondering whether she’s being unreasonable, or whether her boundaries are being ignored.

What Reddit Thinks

Likely verdict: NTA (Not The A-hole)

Sample reactions:

  • “Piercings don’t magically stop people from getting jobs. This isn’t the 90s.”
  • “They’re dismissing something meaningful to you instead of supporting you during a hard time.”
  • “If they were concerned, they’d help you—not pressure you to erase something personal.”

Some commenters might suggest removing piercings temporarily for interviews, but most would agree the family’s behavior crossed a line.

A Final Thought

Job searching is already emotionally exhausting.
When someone is struggling, should loved ones offer understanding—or try to reshape them to fit their own comfort?

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