Backstory: I am the child of a drug addict. I am the oldest of 4 and grew up in a very unstable household. Thanks to extended family members being willing to take us in, we have all turned out pretty well, but I was 16 when that happened and everyone else was much younger. To put it mildly, the TV show Shameless was very triggering for me. I’m now in my early 40s and I have children of my own. I have a relationship with my mother but it’s always been very contingent on her sobriety as I refuse to allow my children to see or experience that in any type of way. My mother has been sober for 12ish years, or so I thought. During a random conversation, she mentioned how she was proud of herself for being sober for 2 years. And it really threw me into a spiral. I immediately began to think of some crazy situations over the years and realized I was just too blind to see what was actually happening and was pushed back into all my childhood trauma in that instant. Frankly, I lost my shit on her and told her I needed space and hung up. I got a shortly text threatening me that if I told my siblings about this conversation, that we would have no relationship. And completely gaslighting my experiences in childhood due to her addiction saying things like “I never did it in front of you” or “just stop living in the past” or “what childhood trauma.” She has always gone straight for the jugular when it comes to threats not realizing what exactly she has said. And I know it sounds like no relationship would be ideal but it’s easier said than done. Anyways, I get that two years is an accomplishment and I did say I was proud of her for that but that I feel like I’ve been lied to and betrayed for 12+ years and that I have put my children in situations I would have never allowed them to be in had I know. Maybe I’m just naive and dreaming of a normal parent child relationship or maybe I’m the a* hole for losing my shit. Either way, there is now distance and space from her for a while for me and my family. Also, should I tell my siblings? They don’t really talk to her in general and have kept their distance as it is. I thought it was harsh but maybe it’s the safe bet.
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