“I caught my wife cheating two years ago and haven’t stopped her…”
A few years ago, I was on my lunch break and was out on a drive. I popped by my house and my garage door was open and my wife’s car and another car were there. I parked across the street and went in through the garage, which is in our basement, essentially under the bedrooms of our split level house.
Literally the second I was in the garage, I could hear the bed in our spare bedroom above me bouncing and muffled sounds that were clearly intimacy. I stood there, basically in disbelief of what I was hearing, but I wasn’t overcome with anger or anything. I very very quietly opened the door into the house and crept up the steps.
I could see down the hall from the top of the steps and I could see the shadows of intimacy on the wall outside the first bedroom (not my bedroom) in the hallway. Tons of groaning, lots of dirty talk from her, and I snuck back down the steps, through the garage, out to my car, and backed it to a side street and I observed them leave about 15 minutes later. They just walked out in broad daylight.
The thing is….our marriage is awesome. Like, totally spot on amazing. We are intimate almost every night and we’re completely in love. We have 3 kids together and life is damn good. Over the past couple of years, I sporadically pop past the house in the middle of the day and that car is there about 2-3x a month and I am 100% aware of what is happening…
And I’m kinda okay with it! Oh, and I know who the guy is, too. I had a police pal run the plate and it’s one of her college boyfriends. He’s also married. My plan for now is if she ever finds out I know, I’m just going to tell her I’m fine with it because our marriage is pretty much bang on perfect.
If this is what she needs to do to keep the marriage perfect, I’m fine with it and I won’t cause any drama to her FWB. What do you all think? Anyone else have this type of situation? Am I a total weirdo?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
IssueInteresting1203 said:
If it works for you that’s ok.
locally_grown_man said:
I think there are a lot more cake eaters out there than people would like to admit. Not all cheaters are in crappy marriages.
[deleted] said:
As someone who has slept with many married women, I wish you were the husband of the women I slept with. Maybe I can get your number LOL. But seriously, this has lots of moving parts. He’s married so the wife may not be okay with it and may do something crazy like go after her husband or even your wife.
Pray that nothing happens. But I had an experience where the husband came home early from a business trip and caught us in the act. I had a gun to my head for a few seconds before the wife was able to calm him down somehow. I am grateful to be alive.
UTwende4 said:
Thanks for sharing. You have potentially a great situation there if you let her know you know, that you are ok with it, and that you love her the more for it. We look forward to an update of your story, after you’ve let her know you know!
throwawaystuckinpast said:
Are you really ok with this or are you in some sort of weird denial/shock? I can’t say it can’t happen: I just have a hard time believing it.
HannaMontana1 said:
I personally wish this was my situation. It is so stressful to sneak around. There is a part of me that thinks he has an idea, but because he’s got health issues and he loves me he doesn’t do anything about it. I also don’t flaunt it. For the record I love him very much. I’d be so open to him playing with someone myself.
bingbong812 said:
How many women do you think have read this thread and said to themselves – oh crap.
redroom89 said:
I think you are incredible. Your wife is lucky.
UPDATE:
What an incredible array of conversations I’ve had today. I’m so deeply grateful to all of you who chimed in on this situation. I plan to re-read the entire thing today and tomorrow, but I still would deeply value additional insights if you want to add something. The tally of “tell her” vs. “Don’t tell her” was bewildering to me.
I wasn’t nearly expecting such an even split, but I don’t really know what I was expecting. You have no idea how much gratitude I have to all of you who took the time to share your thoughts on this.
I’m somewhat leaning towards telling her, but only gradually, and there will be an immense “leading with love” approach if I go that route. All day long, I’ve been moved deeply by surging waves of how much I love her and how much I love our life together.
She’s incredible and I wake up grateful every single day to be with her, even during the past two years when I have known she was up to this. My overwhelming gratitude to wake up next to her has never wavered, even knowing what I know. I welcome ongoing comments, of course, and will consider future posts if this progresses in a specific direction.
She’s in a hilariously great mood tonight. Cooking dinner, sipping wine, chatting away. I’ve had this wild day in here and she’s just like “la di da!” It’s adorable and she’s so wonderful and cute.
