AITA for telling my houseguest about my son?
I (38m) live with my son (20m). His mom is not in the picture and I have no other children.
Last year my son came out as gay. While it was not something I am familiar with I of course accepted him because he’s my son and I love him. It was surprising because my son typically presents as very masculine and was very athletic and into sports growing up and still is.
I apologize if that’s not PC to say I’m still learning but it is important to this story. When my son came out to me I asked how open he wanted to be with it and he said it’s not a secret and anyone can know. I’ve casually mentioned to other people that my son is gay and he’s never had an issue with it.
About a month ago my friend (40m) asked me if his son (22m) could live with us for a while. He started grad school and my house is close to the school. I’m very close to my friend and his son is like a nephew to me but our sons have only met a few times (my friend moved to the other side of the country when his son was 5).
I was worried it would be weird for my friend’s son but he got very comfortable right away almost too comfortable. I found that he was very comfortable being at home wearing nothing but skivvies which I would never do in someone else’s house but maybe this generation is different. I’ve always been on sports teams and in this kind of culture so it didn’t bother me but it occurred to me that he might not know my son is gay and might not be doing this if he did know.
I tried to bring it up in a way that I thought was subtle (I mentioned a date my son went on and kept saying “he”) to my friends son and I guess he got the hint. He started being dressed more, especially when my son’s home. One day he mentioned my son being gay and my son asked him how he knew. He said I told him.
My son privately came to him and asked if I told our houseguest about him being gay so he’s wear clothes. I said he deserved to know so he could decide if he felt comfortable doing that and it seems like he isn’t. My son got mad and said we were being homophobic. I asked if anything else had changed between them besides him wearing more than underwear (my son and him have been bonding) and my son admitted no. I told him that if he is this upset about our houseguest wearing clothes i clearly did the right thing by telling him. My son is calling me the AH but I don’t think I did anything wrong.
