AITA for changing the Wi-Fi password after my roommate kept inviting people over without asking?
I (21M) live with one roommate (23M) in a two-bedroom apartment. We split rent and utilities 50/50, including internet. When we moved in, we agreed that guests were fine as long as we gave each other a heads-up, especially for overnight stays.
Over the last two months, my roommate has been inviting friends over almost every night without telling me. Sometimes it’s just one person, other times it’s a group. They use the living room, watch TV late, and use the Wi-Fi heavily for streaming and gaming. I work early mornings and this has been affecting my sleep and ability to focus.
I brought it up calmly twice and reminded him of our original agreement. He said I was being “too controlling” and that since he pays rent, he should be able to have people over whenever he wants. After that, nothing changed.
Last week, he had friends over four nights in a row, including one night when they were loud past midnight. I finally changed the Wi-Fi password and told him I’d give it back once we talked and set clear boundaries about guests.
He was furious and said I had no right to do that since we both pay for the internet. He accused me of being passive-aggressive and childish. He told his friends, who now think I’m a jerk for “holding the Wi-Fi hostage.”
AITA?
This is what people had to say to OP:
SamSpayedPI said:
ESH. She’s certainly the a$$hole for continuing to have friends over after 10:00 on weeknights, especially since she agreed not to. But she pays for half the internet; you don’t have the right to block her access to it. Stop leaving notes; sit down and have a conversation with her.
readergirl35 said:
Dear roommate, I’m sorry you feel I am making the apartment a “hostile” living space. I have felt for months that it was a hostile space for me because every attempt I made to ask you to respect my needs was met with an aggressive move to ignore what I asked for.
I really don’t enjoy having people here throughout the week nights but I tried to compromise and just asked if company could please be done by 10 pm. That night you had people here till 1 AM. I’ve asked that you keep your company from eating my food, using certain of my appliances and in every instance what I asked was ignored.
This living arrangement is not working. I’m offering you the choice of leaving within the next 30 days or I will.
RefrigeratorDull57 said:
I’ll go with NTA, but only because she steals your food (she is responsible for what her guests do). You really cannot cut her off from the internet. I wish you all the best with your living situation.
Knightseason said:
ESH your roommate more than you, by a lot. Her and her friends should not be taking over the place most nights, you live there too and have a right to quite times. They should also not be taking your food and using your stuff without permission.
You shouldn’t be holding the internet hostage as your roommate also pays half for it.
It really sounds like this isn’t a situation that’s good for either of you, and if you can it’ll be better to look for different accommodation.
Aggravating_Teach210 said:
Get rid of the part of you that feels bad . I think what you have done is brilliant. You asked and asked and were ignored. Now you’ve been heard!
Brilliant bloody brilliant 😁
