“I told my sister’s fiancé about her secret Instagram where she ranks his family by who she hopes passes first.”
I know how the title sounds just let me explain. So my sister (29F) has a finsta. Whatever lots of people do. I found it like a year ago because she accidentally logged into it on my Ipad when she was over and i saw the notification. It’s private, like 12 followers, just her friends.
Most of the posts are just shit talking. Her job. Random people. Jake (her fiancé; 31M). Like she screenshots their arguments and her friends all reply “king s**t” or whatever when she’s being mean to him. i thought it was weird but not my business.
But a few months ago she posted this like tier list?? Ranking his entire family by the order she hopes they d**. His GRANDMA was first. She wrote a whole thing about how she “gives off 2 more years max and iIm inheriting that ring.” His 14-year-old sister was on there. She said she has “school s***ter energy.”
I screenshotted it idk why. I just did. Anyway last weekend we’re at a bbq and Jake is next to me talking about how much his grandma adores my sister and how she’s “so excited for October” and I just. I don’t know man.
I showed him. On my phone. Right there. He didn’t say anything he just walked to his car and left. didn’t even tell anyone he was going. Now everything is messed up.
The wedding is “paused” whatever that means. My sister called me sobbing and screaming at the same time saying i ruined her life over “a joke.”
My mom keeps texting me about how I “always do this” which like. what does that mean. my dad just said “that was a choice” and walked away.
Jake won’t respond to anyone. His mom called my mom apparently?? IDK I’m getting everything secondhand because my sister blocked me
I feel sick about it but also like. Was he just supposed to marry her not knowing she ranks his family by d**th order for fun?? Her friends all knew.
TWELVE people knew and just let him propose to her. IDK. Maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. But also, screw that.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
yoyo_ma86 wrote:
29??? You’re not the one to blame here. She’s immature at best, insane at worst. His grandma? His LITTLE SISTER? It would be bad enough if the 14 year old was posting this. I am 39, with a 10 year old, and 11 and 14 year old step daughters. We would be having conversations with them about how this is wrong. She’s way too old for this.
Speechdistinct8793 wrote:
That’s not a joke tbh, you don’t joke about the literal passing of others. It’s one thing to talk about how annoying people are it’s another to talk about hoping someone dies so you get something or even calling someone a school shooter.
That’s nasty work. Idk if talking to your sister would’ve helped because it might not have changed her behavior just made her hide it better. But I would not have told him at a family bbq, that’s something you do in private or anonymously.
easy_permit_5418 wrote:
I found out a couple months ago that my best friend’s partner has secretly hated me and been talking crap about me to her other friends behind her partner and my back.
While being sugar sweet to my face. When I found out about it, and asked for an apology, they told me it was my fault for being nosy and finding out what they said to begin with. Not their fault for saying it. But my fault for finding out.
If somebody does something that they would rather people not know about, and people find out about it anyway, it’s totally on them. They did the thing. So sorry you’re even having the slightest question of whether or not you did the right thing. Your family sounds like they suck.
craftcrazyzebra wrote:
You saved him. How humiliating would it have been for him, if he found out after he married her. I’m guessing some of the 12 would have been bridesmaids etc.
They sound like they haven’t grown up from being teenage mean girls. Next time your parents say anything ask them how they’d like it if he’d listed what order he’d like them to die online for laughs with his friends.
kaonashi24 wrote:
It’s not just immature it’s insensitive and evil what your sister was doing, I honestly think you saved yourself from such an evil presence in your life. Good riddance, even if she’s family this is too much, you can’t joke about someone’s passing you can’t fantasize about crap like that bro.
lilbit6675 wrote:
This wasn’t a joke, last time I checked jokes are supposed to be humorous. She was being hateful and she really revealed who she was in those posts. Someone that would speak in such a cavalier manner about the de*th of her fiance’s loved ones. Hoping that his grandma dies so she can finally get her ring???
And then the comment about his sister was downright vile but could also have real world implications and have her added to a watch list if anyone came across that post and shared it out of context. You saved him from a lifetime of petty and vindictive behavior from your sister and you absolutely did the right thing.
Round-swordfish-5834 wrote:
You saved him from an expensive divorce that would have come within the next 5 years if they got married because there is no way she can keep up with the sweet act for so long if she hates his family that much.
NTA.
Flashy_Sail_4458 wrote:
How is that funny? How is joking about hoping people die funny? That’s psychotic. And your mom defending this behavior explains a LOT why your sister is so foul. She may honestly be great, I don’t know her, but joking about people dying and especially her comment about his sister?! No. Just no. That’s beyond vile.
dogmomofone wrote:
You taught your sister a valuable lesson. 29?? This is incredibly immature, and you saved that Jake guy a lifetime of misery.
