My (44M) ex-wife (43F) and I do the co-parenting thing where the kids (13M & 5F) stay at the house and she and I cycle in and out during the week so they have stability and aren’t going back and forth between houses. We’ve been doing this about 3 years and while it has worked, it’s getting more difficult.

In the divorce settlement she got the house even though it’s still under my name so we can keep our sub 3% mortgage rate. Under the many line items in the agreement, we agreed to split “wear and tear” things around the house, which when we discussed it would be like if the toilet seat broke or something along those lines. I know, we should have been SO much more specific, but we weren’t, so lesson learned.

Well the upstairs couch needs replacing now and she asked me if that’s considered wear and tear. My response to her was “You have thousands of dollars in debt you’re trying to pay off and I have thousands in debt I’m trying to pay off”. It’s tight right now for both of us. But I reminded her that we have a $4,000 couch in the downstairs living room that never gets used which could easily come upstairs. She responded to me by saying “So your kids deserve to live like white trash?”. I stopped responding. Now I’ve found out that she’s getting her parents to finance the couch for her and she informed me that they both hope that I get my priorities straightened out. And tonight she informed me that I shouldn’t be surprised if her parents call me to talk about this situation.

AITA for recommending we move the other couch upstairs so it’s not another bill added to plate and not splitting the cost of a new couch with her?